eyelash wishes ~ soon after the rain, she shines.

squeak squeak.

2009-06-13T10:24:00.000-07:00

SQUEAKKKKK.

i have so many thoughts, criss-crossing my mind right now. the thoughts they fly by so fast, sometimes it's hard for me to capture it into writing before it flutters away. but if i don't express it, if i don't write it down, it will bother me.

probably the reason why i'm feeling so contemplative is because i've been reading a lot lately. i love reading. reading is love. i've been reading stuff ever since i learnt how to read (ya lah!!). and i have a secret, secret love towards writing.

anyway.

i'm tired. and also happy. and also sad. and also hopeful.

i am physically tired lately. working is a new experience and i'm still getting used to it, even after 5 weeks. i still can't stand sitting still, staring at a screen for 9 straight hours. that's why i hold the record for the highest number of toilet breaks. and it drains me, even though i don't use much energy in front of the computer, it still makes me feel extremely tired when i go back. and i don't get to go straight home, most of the time.

i am happy. happy because of the things God is stirring in my heart lately. as His children, we are imperfect. i was sort of losing touch, but God is great--He will not let us fall or stumble. God has been speaking into my heart, awakening the spirit that has faltered. He's been speaking to me through morning prayer, leaders meeting, bible study, service sermons... and i can't let myself stray away anymore.

i've learnt to come back to what God has called me to do. amongst other things, it's my ministry. when He asked me to step forward and volunteer as an usher, i did so. but now after months of serving, we tire. we lose the excitement and are left with the petty little problems.

and i'm repenting. i truly know that it was wrong of me to think that maybe it wasn't right for me to be an usher. maybe i need to find a better ministry, something not so demanding. or maybe, i just needed to learn a bit of responsibility. and focus. focus on what ministry is all about: serving God. i've lost that focus some time ago. and now i'm taking it back.

i'm sad. i'm sad that again, we have lost communication. i thought we were doing good, talking at night and joking and laughing. but these last few nights i feel strange. i feel like inside the room, there is a vacuum that sucks away every noise, every voice. it is quiet. it is disturbingly quiet. and whenever i try to strike up a conversation, you'd answer with one-liners. and i don't know what's going on. i really feel i might be overreacting, and i really, really hope i am.

i'm hopeful. for everything, of everything. i can't put my hopes into words, they are all over the place, they are finding every nook and cranny to seep into, to breathe into.

i am tired. and i've said that, right?

i want to crush on somebody again. HAHA.

nah sekarang!

2009-05-12T01:36:00.000-07:00

sekarang colleague di meja sebelahku mulai bersin juga.

merasa bersalah takut nularin orang. tapi gue meler kan karena alergi, bukan karena virus!

dan lagi, dari tadi gue bersin pake tisue, tidak membuka mulut, ditutup dengan tangan, dan gue tidak ada kontak fisik dengan colleague di sebelah sama sekali kok.

i hope she gets better soon.

and me too.

aduhhhhhh.

deskripsi diriku saat ini

2009-05-12T01:27:00.000-07:00

sekarang jam 4.27 sore, dan aku berada di kantor.

dari tadi pagi yang gue kerjain cuma mengganti warna iklan, dari colour ke b&w and spot colour. sisanya... bengong. main facebook sembunyi-sembunyi. cetink sembunyi-sembunyi, berusaha menahan ketawa setengah mati gara2 siicengek. trus bengong lagi.

gue cek email 10 mnit sekali, berharap ada update ato apa yang bisa membuat gue sibuk sejenak. menunggu email dr manager yang ga dateng-dateng. haduuuuhhh.

dan sekarang, yang terus menerus gue lakukan dengan konsisten dari tadi pagi adalah MELER.

sumpedeh ini meler ngga berenti2. ngga tau ya, kayaknya ac-nya kedinginan. tangan gue dingin sekarang, kaki gue dingin dan kesemutan sekarang, kepala gue senut-senut sekarang, gue bernafas dari mulut sekarang... what a miserable day!

sebetulnya gue lagi menunggu orang lain untuk mulai kerja. see, gue ditugaskan untuk suatu project berdua dgn intern yang lain. tp intern yang satu lagi sibuk terus dari tadi. trus tadi dia bilang, "got nothing to do right?" "YEAAA," said i, "ok, just keep quiet." katanya.

so i keep quiet lorrrr. i'm not saying a word. tapi jari-jariku mengetik dengan berisik dr td. salahkan keyboard mac yang keras ini. untung tadi pas lunch break ada si jger jeslin ika dan geboy, mereka lagi makan di nihon mura di deket sini. jd gue nimbrung. tp pas jalan, sempet kena gerimis sejenak, jadi makin parah aja melernya.

haduuuuuiiiii jam 6 cepetan dong dateeeeng!

then after work, i need to meet with jindy before LM to discuss outreach.

phew!

hih. cycling, sort of.

2009-05-11T09:00:00.001-07:00

some people are just so uptight.

let it loose laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

anyway today i went cycling with my classmates. SORT OF. i sort of cannot cycle, and the whole way i just rode in a double bike behind jeger. GEGEGEGE. we went cycling in east coast, and we cycled for two hours until my thighs felt so stiff.

EEEEE.

but cycling was awesomely fun. forgive me for being so uncool about it, but this is the first time i ever felt so close to actually riding a bike and enjoying the wind in my hair! east coast park was a nice place, with a sort-of-beach on our right side and tall, towering trees on our left side.

then tomorrow is back to work for me.
ohhhhhhno.

beruang suka makan madu bekerjasama dengan madu untuk menyerang monyet.
monyetcantik diserang dari dua arah.
paranormal/dukun hanya bersorak untuk monyet dari samping.

laskar pelangi

2009-05-09T11:14:00.001-07:00

i've just finished watching the movie on youtube.

dan sungguh hatiku terkesima menyaksikan indonesia. film yang powerful banget, membuka mata setiap dari kita, dan membongkar segenap emosi yang ada.

film ini membuat gue belajar menghargai hal-hal kecil. membuat kita teringat apa makna dari berjuang buat impian kita. bahwa sungguh, iman dan kemauan cukup untuk membuat dunia kita bergerak.

gue terkagum sama keindahan indonesia. film ini bisa menangkap setiap detail yang penting dari jaman itu, kayak kapur merk harimau, piala penghargaan, piagam yang ditulisin pake pena kaligrafi... these little items brought life into the film. gue terkagum melihat alam indonesia yang sesungguhnya, yang mungkin selama ini ga sempet kita lihat.

i've read books, i've seen pictures of the indonesian beauty. but really, moving image is different, yeah?

kapan saat terakhir gue bisa berhenti terburu-buru, dan berjalan menikmati alam sekitar?

sometimes taking a walk in the morning helps to put life in perspective.

i've realized, in singapore, i'm always in a hurry. i stopped enjoying myself like i used to, as if spending time for myself and my friends is a luxury i won't be able to afford. i've set goals, with time limits, and my life runs from one accomplishment to next accomplishment. you know what i mean?

i wake up in the morning thinking what i want to do.
i need to get this done. then i need to rush here. then i need to do this.
and sometimes i can't even be bothered to slip a stupid grin when somebody cracks a joke.

come on.
i don't want to be pathetic, okay.

i want life to take full shape.

i want to appreciate everything, i want to be thankful for everything, i want to have fun.
i want to be wise, too, of course.

so what now?

kate moross is a queen.

2009-05-09T10:04:00.000-07:00

so i stumbled upon her tonight. kate moross is a graphic designer and illustrator based in london.

she's just super awesome--she is twenty two but she has loads of amazing portfolio work. i love her style--psychedelic hand lettering and isometric shapes combined.

most of her work that she did is for bands and clubs. which made me think. i am so not a clubbing person. but i love club-artwork. hehehe. i think it's just fancy and awesome.

and she inspired me to get myself a sketchbook and some sketch pens.
ok, note to self.
must buy sketchbook and pens for instant doodling.

btw i just started my internship at draftfcb yesterday.
it began with kind of a slow start.
i dunno what to expect yet. i just want to learn as much as i can, and HAVE FUN at the same time, you know.

ok, going back to watching laskar pelangi now.
tonight some of my friends went to see friday the 13th. but i bailed, cos methinks it's a waste of time. heheh.

i'm not a good speaker.

2009-04-24T12:41:00.000-07:00

believe you, me.

i may be confident about speaking in public about topics like beliefs or my thoughts.

but i do not have the courage to speak out my feelings.

yesh. of all things, i find it difficult to speak out my feelings. if you ever noticed. i rarely talk about what i feel, like, what i really really feel deep down inside.

why? to some people it comes naturally. revealing yourself in front of others.

i find it nerve wrecking. even to those that i should trust the most. i wish i have the courage to say, "just so you know. i'm disappointed in you." or, "i felt hurt." or, positively speaking, "that was great, thanks, i really appreciate it."

it's ridiculous. how can you not be honest to the people around you?

well, just for the record.

tonight i was upset. for a moment i was frustrated. about so many things that's going on in life now. sometimes that kind of stuff brings you down, you see. no matter how strong you may be, it tugs you down. even just for an inch lower--but you feel it. stress, anger, frustration.

i'm not the kind of person who wallows in self-pity and anger. i denounce all negative feelings toward myself. but sometimes you can't help it, those feelings catch you off guard and you fall victim even for a short while.

praise God, though, for He is good.

He didn't let me be sad for long :)

He came through, in the form of three of my close friends.

see, i was trying my best to keep a straight face so that no one can see that i was not feeling good. but it was getting difficult because my blood was somewhat boiling, toasting inside. BUT thankfully my friend was talking to me through msn. then my other close friend popped up. i told them about what made me upset. they asked what's wrong. then they said it's actually for the better.

by then, just talking to them made me feel a bit better. i'm glad that they still care, like they actually give a damn to what i felt. then we talked some more. we joked around. made me laugh. and when i laughed, suddenly i don't feel sad anymore. i feel stronger. like they empowered me somehow.

they care :)

they really do.

even when they're far away.

then of course another friend of mine showed up on msn when those two signed off. i told her about my problem. again, she told me it was for the better. well, the place of agreement is the place of power. this friend, she made me laugh out so loud. she helped me feel lighter, without even meaning to, i guess.

i am so glad to have friends from all over.

i am so thankful to have these people around me. even the friends who made me upset.

though sometimes you just feel the urge to be a bitch and just being angry and bitter, but seriously, we have to let it go as soon as possible. it's not healthy to keep the "bitchy" seed inside of us. no, it has nothing to do with your edgy personality. it's just spoiled attitude, it's what you do when you want to be selfish and hurtful.

that's what i think at least.

i'm sorry if this entry makes you feel uneasy. or any other unpleasant feeling.

if i can't even speak out what i feel on this blog, then where else?

anyway, thankyou so much to my friends who managed to cheer me up. thankyou to my friends who made me upset because you made me learn something. and thank you so much, God, for sending friends to guide me along the way You've set for me.

my project is depression.

2009-04-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

no, seriously. i'm working on a project for advertising... doing a PSA for self-harm.

and it's making me depressed.
i've been looking at photos of self-injuring people on flickr for almost 2 hours.
looking at their scars, their blood... oh my, it is SO AWFUL.

i think i'm mentally scarred!
GEDDIT??

okay sorry it's not funny.

then i went on to see a friend's photos with her bf.

and i really haven't started working on my ad!
it's almost 12am now.
yay me.

i'm not lazy, i'm just a little unwell...

2009-03-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

menyesal sekali kemaren bertereak2 saat fellowship cg di pitstop cafe. teriak-teriak sampe diomelin mbak-mbak karena mengganggu meja-meja sekitar HUWE...

dan besoknya, yaitu sekarang, jadi sakit tenggorokan + pusing-pusing + flu.

really, WHAT A MESS.

padahal rencananya hari ini mau total bikin tugas. should i maksa, ato bedrest aja ya? dari tadi uda bed rest terus ni, tapi tetep masi senut senut kepalanya. pinggang pun sakit.

SEPERTINYA KEADAANKU SEDIH SEKALI YAAAAAAAAA!!

ELOHIM ROCKS!

2009-01-22T09:46:00.000-08:00

God Elohim, He's truly great!

Elohim is the name of God the Creator. it defines God's personality as the creative God who created and perfectly shaped every being in the world, including the sky, the land we live on, and of course, you and me.

which explains why creativity belongs to the Lord. He defines creativity, because He's the Creator. His being is to create. He's the one who made nothing into something. He's the founder of originality.

and this is a truth that we, design students, should embrace. whenever we're stuck for inspiration, don't just fret and fumble, seek the Lord!

okay, so this is my testimony. this is so recent, like, JUST NOW! i gotta make this quick.

so tomorrow is my graphic design class. or to be exact, today at 9 o'clock. i need to decide on a product to report to my lecturer. the brief is to design the packaging for the product. problem is, i've been so busy (or slacking?) this week, i haven't had a chance to think about it.

i've been racking my brain since this afternoon. i wanted to do a product for adults, to challenge myself, because i tend to be kiddish and childish in nature... so i want to do an adult product, and no, it's not dirty. haha. anyway, I DON'T KNOW WHAT PRODUCT TO CHOOSE. gawat banget ga.

i mean, there are thousands of products out there. i went to the supermarket today, to get some ideas, but there were so many things, my eyes went blurry. during fellowship cg today, i kept asking my friends for suggestions. stuck, stuck. nothing clicked.

i went home at 11pm tonight. super late. and still no idea what to do for tomorrow. think, think. the internet decided to freak me out. stuck, stuck. i've been whining about my situation for the past 6-8 hours. my deadline is coming very very soon.

i even made a mind-map. my choices were: tissues, aroma-therapy, toiletries, and chocolates. i wanted to do tissues because they're so boring. but i'm afraid they're too boring to work on, and i'll lose interest too soon. okay. stuck, stuck. i need something.

then i came upon this magazine i borrowed, HOW magazine. it showed an award-winning packaging of a tub of ice cream. hmm. ice cream. why not. as i scribbled it down on my mind map, suddenly, ideas began pouring out.

ice cream. the cliched painkiller for broken hearts.

shortly said, i came upon a fresh concept for ice cream packaging. and then it struck me.

wow. this inspiration, it didn't came from me. i was depending on myself for the past 8 hours, and i came upon nothing. and once i was about to give up, the answer came falling down on my head. this inspiration... it's from HIM.

so yeah, God told me, "why are you so intent on working this out on your own? you should've asked me from the beginning. i've got all the answers! listen to THIS."

you rock, you rock, you rock, Jesus.

i learnt a lesson tonight. God the Almighty is the key to becoming a CREATIVE designer. He has a ton of great and wonderful ideas to share with you, and they're all about you!

it's like i checked into rehab...

2008-12-17T09:30:00.000-08:00

and baby you're my disease...

the song is just hopelessly stuck in my head.

for the third day in a row, today has been dull. i didn't go out of the house at all. i was stationed in front of the tv all day, and while it's really, really a great time to indulge myself in the guilty pleasure called TELEVISION, i feel... empty.

you know, i'm not supposed to feel this way. this is not good... this is, wrong!

although i can't help myself. the more tv that i watch, the guiltier, and the emptier i feel. which is stupid. how can i let something SO VAIN like tv get to me. maybe it's because i haven't watched tv in 6 months, now my mind is rejecting it.

i think i've watched too much grey's anatomy, now i'm starting to make a diagnosis.

anyway, christmas is around the corner. this year, i'm not feeling the christmasy mood.. uh, it's barely there. in spite of all the christmas-themed shows on tv, SIGH! today i watched 2 episodes of Nigella's Christmas, and this beautiful chef showed us how to cook christmas food.. wow.

of course, i want to have a chance to experience that sort of christmas. you don't really get to eat gingerbread cookies, or roasted ham, or put presents under your tree here in this country. usually during christmas season, we're all busy preparing for our churches' christmas service. it's fun, when you're involved, but now since i'm not participating in anything... it just feels a little... i don't know.

i guess, what i want to do this christmas, is to make peace with myself.

this insecurity thing.. it's getting old. i really have to stop questioning myself, and step up, and stand by.. me. you know. i believe in other people. i need to believe in myself too.

so, hmmm, yeah.

i am sooo rambling and this entry makes no sense.
but it feels nice to be able to pour out my thoughts like this.
yep, it's pouring and flowing and running all over the place.
but heck, who cares. this is my space.

i miss YOU.

grey's anatomy rocks.

2008-12-15T09:59:00.000-08:00

i miss my friends right now. today has been a lonely day.

i just miss having people around, people to laugh with, people to share with. people to talk to. like friends.

i just want to spend time with them, without a care in the world.

aku ingin menghabiskan waktu sama temen-temenku. terlepas dari jaim, dari prasangka, dari kesibukan, dan dari pusingnya hidup. terlepas dari kenyataan bahwa hidup kita masing-masing masih punya lubang yang belum tertutupi.

i guess that's what friends are for.

memang sahabat-sahabatku nggak sempurna. mereka punya kekurangan masing-masing, dan mungkin mereka nggak selalu hadir di saat mereka dibutuhkan. tapi aku sendiri masih harus banyak belajar.

untuk menjadi sahabat yang baik.
menjadi sahabat yang positif, sahabat yang suportif.
sahabat yang bisa memberikan security.

aku sendiri punya banyak insecurities. keraguan di tengah jalan. saat kamu termenung, berhenti sejenak, dan memikirkan lubang-lubang di tengah jalan ini... yah, that's not the most pleasant time in the world.

tapi aku rasa, it doesn't really matter.

i dunno.

right now, i want myself a cup of Doctor McDreamy. without the super cool but intimidating wife.

and some inner peace would be great, too.

creativity belongs to our Creator.

2008-12-11T10:14:00.000-08:00

creativity belongs to our Creator. don't you agree?

tonight i spent some time browsing through people's blogs. some of them are people that i don't really know personally, but they're people i recognize from indonesian service at city harvest church. i stumbled upon their blogs, and i was surprised to see that God has blessed His people with overflowing creativity!

these people, they found their way to shine in their own colours. and what's so special, i think, is that they glorify God through their creativity, through their designs and photography, also through their music and songwriting. i was amazed to see the quality, and the passion, and the POSITIVITY that i rarely get from creative folks.

without meaning to offend anyone, i have to admit that most people would stereotype artsy people as either kooky, depressed, tortured, ironic, liberal... just to name some of the negative stereotypes. and as someone who studies art, and spends most of her days in a school filled with artsy people, i think i understand why that belief exists. some people even take pride in being a tortured artist. i wonder why.

and some months ago, pastor kong reminded us in church, that creativity indeed belongs to none other than our Creator, Father God, Himself. He is the God Elohim, the God who creates. He breathed the creativity into our nostrils, into everything he shaped in this earth. so is there any reason for us to be creative and still be gloomy, sad, miserable, and filled with self-pity?

no, i don't think so.

in much simpler terms... you understand that our God is THE Mightily Creative God, because He's the one who created the earth, the sun, the sea, the forest, and everything inside them. He's the one who painted this universe into being, the one who sculpted every detail in us to achieve the uniqueness and the individuality that we embrace today. so He is really, really creative. then, He made us, people, as His most treasured artwork. He prides Himself on us, that we may resemble Him in His image. of course, we believe that He passed down His immense creativity to us!

and because our creativity is Godly, we should use it for His glory. rather than to display sadness, anger, desperation, and disappointment in this world, i think God would be more pleased if we use art as a media to express our gratitude to Him, and how we can make the world a better place instead of a gloomy dump.

you know, i have tried to portray my "tortured artist" side in my artwork. but it didn't work! i guess we're just not meant to be sad and negative.

come on, creative souls. thrive on the positive energy that God has blessed us with, and let the world taste His unending majesty!

naik antar jemput!

2008-12-05T00:47:00.000-08:00

most of you can probably tell that i have a bunch of free time during my holidays, cos i'm blogging so often now. that is... very, very true. HEH.

tadi siang aku diajak makan sama papa sama ody ke Eat & Eat. e&e ini adalah food court paling baru dan paling GRESS di kelapa gading, terletak di mkg 5, di ujung paling utara mall kelapa gading. kenapa gress? karena di foodcourt ini kita makan di tengah suasana KAMPOENG TEMPOE DOELOE... dengan pondokan-pondokan reyot, sangkar burung, gerobak, sepeda, teko-teko tua, meja kursi dari kayu kasar, toiletnya disebut jamban, de-es-te. bedanya dengan kampung tempo dulu, semua suasana ini dapat dinikmati dalam keadaan bersih dan ber-ac. makanya makanannya kampung tapi MAHAL.

lalu kami pulang, dan di tengah jalan, di dalem mobil, dede gue bercerita soal pengalaman temennya yang ditinggal anter jemputnya di sekolahan, saat temennya itu lagi ngobrol di luar. denger cerita soal anter jemput, saya teringat masa-masa saya sendiri naik anter jemput. gue rasa gue jadi pelanggan jasa anter jemput sekolah sekitar 10 tahun ada, kali.

jadi begini ceritanya. saya naik anter jemput sejak pertama kali masuk sekolah. dengan kata lain PLAYGRUP, alias KB, alias KELOMPOK BERMAIN. saat itu usia saya 3 tahun. buset yak! alesan utama saya didaftarkan naik anter jemput sama nyokap saya, adalah karena kedua orangtua saya itu sibuk bekerja di siang hari, jadi tidak ada yang nganter ke sekolah. atau menjemput.

anter jemput dalam definisi saya adalah jasa angkutan yang kerjanya jemput kita dari rumah ke sekolah dan anter kita pulang dari sekolah ke rumah. biasanya naik mobil yang muat banyak, mulai dari suzuki carry sampe mobil panther, rata-rata saya pernah naikin semuanya. dalem mobil ini, jumlah orang yang diangkut sekaligus itu indefinite, alias suka-suka sopir dan semuat-muatnya aja. biasanya mereka suka memodifikasi mobilnya dengan formasi tempat duduk yang memungkinkan sebanyak mungkin orang masuk. mentang2 anak kecil, bisa aja satu mobil suzuki carry disumpelin anak-anak sampe 11-12 orang. memang sama sekali enggak manusiawi dan enggak kompromi.

mana lagi kita sebagai penumpang nggak bisa milih mau naik mobil sama siapa. pas gue smp, gue harus semobil sama anak-anak tk plus susternya yang rese, berisik, jorok, cengeng, dan lain-lain. apalagi pas pulang sekolah cepet karena ada libur ato apa gitu. otomatis jadwal pulang tk sampe sma bisa aja bentrok semua, dan semuanya harus pulang sekaligus. jadilah mobil makin sumpek dan kita harus naik mobil sama anak2 tengil itu. saya dulu nggak tengil loh. saya nggak bawa-bawa suster buat nyuapin saya pas masih kecil. makanya saya nggak betah kalo semobil sama anak2 begitu.

contoh anak-anak tengil. anak tk + suster, kalo yang cowok biasanya putih-putih gitu terus gemuk, subur, sehat sentosa. ributnya minta ampun, suka ngajak berantem anak-anak yang lebih gede. terus suka disuapin di dalem mobil sama susternya, bikin orang yang ngeliat pusing. kalo anak-anak cewek tengil juga biasanya begitu, bedanya, sebagai cewek, mereka suka didandanin yang aneh-aneh, punya rambut yang dikuncir sana sini, bikin mobil makin sempit. apalagi pas jaman cindy cenora ye, yang rambutnya dikuncir pake kawat dan menjulang hingga 20cm panjangnya. ITU RESE PISAN. hehehehe!

biasanya satu usaha anter jemput itu memiliki 3-4 mobil yang difungsikan setiap harinya. tiap mobil punya sejumlah anak2 yang menjadi tanggung jawab. kalo pagi hari, yang pertama dijemput itu dari anak yang rumahnya paling jauh dari sekolah... baru terakhir itu yang paling deket. kalo pulang, malah sebaliknya. yang pertama dianter adalah anak yang rumahnya paling deket. terakhir ya yang paling jauh. jadi, KESIANNN anak yang rumahnya jauh, dan UNTUNG di anak yang rumahnya deket (GUE!).

di dalem mobil, ada banyak kegiatan yang bisa dilakukan. yang pertama adalah ngobrol dengan sesama anak-anak sebaya--di sini tali persahabatan pun terjalin dan perjalanan menjadi menyenangkan. kedua, tidur--ini biasanya dilakukan buat anak-anak yang kena giliran dianterin terakhir dan saat mobil udah mulai sepi, dan ac alam mengalir sepoi sepoi, ZZZZ... sampe di depan rumah. ketiga, diem merengut bagi mereka yang gak bisa nyambung sama penumpang lain--ini sempat terjadi padaku selama beberapa waktu. keempat, menjadi preman mobil dan ngegerecokin anak-anak tk yang suka nyolot dan sama-sama cari masalah. kelima, makan! ada yang makan bekal bawaan yang belom abis, ada yang suka jajan selagi menunggu mobil penuh dan jajanan pun dimakan dalem perjalanan. mulai dari tahu gejrot, gorengan, kue ape, sampe cincau dan cendol pun nikmat disantap selama perjalanan gasrak gusruk dan berdebu.

saya naik anter jemput sampe sekitar kelas 2 smp. mulai kelas 3, saya masih terdaftar di anter jemput, tapi jarang ikutan, karena saya mulai mengenal ANGKOT. naik angkot buat saya itu kelegaan tersendiri. kita gak usah ketar-ketir pulang cepet-cepet karena takut ditinggal mobil, gak usah sumpek-sumpekan dan lengket-lengketan sama anak-anak lain karena bisa milih angkot yang sepi. saat saya mengenal angkot, saya merasakan kemandirian yang membanggakan. WUEDEHHHH banget gak sihhh?

akhirnya saya bilang sama mama untuk mencabut saya dari anter jemput. IRIT bo. naik angkot itu dulu cuma 500perak sekali jalan. sementara anter jemput... wueh mahal lah pokoknya. saya bangga karena saya bisa membantu mama ngirit, dan saya bisa menyesuaikan jadwal saya sama angkot yang selalu ada.

jadi inti dari cerita ini adalah.. jangan naik anter jemput kalo nggak terpaksa! kecuali memang anda penikmat sengsara, atau rumahnya jauh dan terpelosok. untungnya saya di kelapa gading, di mana angkutan umum masih layak ditumpangi dan cukup aman.

hidup kelapa gading!

filled with love.

2008-12-04T09:29:00.000-08:00

today i met up with my beloved girls again. by "beloved girls", i'm referring to the group of nine girlies that have been with me since the 9th grade. gegege.

well, actually, i only met a few of them. this afternoon i met up with magda and ika at our second home, MALL KELAPA GADING. we agreed to find a gift for our friend, cindy, who's having a birthday dinner later. actually, "finding a gift" has often been used as an excuse to hang out at the mall, for the lack of a real purpose. hahahha. then we would just go round and round, checking out everything, browsing through random shops, and sometimes we would go back empty handed but still satisfied. so, yeah, usually "finding a gift" means more like, "hanging out cos we have nothing to do but since a friend's birthday is coming up so why don't we just go to the mall and look-see-look-see but the main point is to waste time".

BUTTTTTT i truthfully declare that today, we were really dedicated to find a gift for vhavha (cindy)!! today we were focused on the purpose to find something to buy for her, instead of randomly going in and out of shops out of curiosity. erm, granted, i did do some (okay, A LOT) of window-shopping to satisfy myself. and the side effect is i ended up having so many, many things on my wish list. all day i went ga-ga over all the adorable outfits!! tops, vests, dresses, shoes, belts... i want them all! T.T

we found a lovely scarf for vhavha. it was a knitted white scarf, the girly and cutesy kind with pom-poms on each end. SO CUTE! i really want one for myself now.

anyhoo, tonight vhavha took us (magda, ika, yunita, and myself) to have dinner @ bandar djakarta. bandar djakarta is a seafood restaurant located at ancol bay in jakarta. so it's seafood by the seaside! what more could you ask for, right? it was my first time eating there, and i thought the place had a great atmosphere. the deck was covered with giant canopies, and there were small gazebos for lesehan (sitting on the floor). we had a table right beside the sea, but it was dark so we couldn't see anything, which was kind of creepy for me.

bandar djakarta @ night (from bandar-djakarta.com)

more bandar djakarta

the food was great. i tried "kerang bambu"... roughly translated, bamboo cockles, and "kerang macan", which looked more like snails than oysters to me. heh. we also ate this shark fish. not shark fin. a WHOLE shark, only a very, very small one, and they had it grilled. NICE!

besides the ambience and the food, what i loved most was simply being there with my dearest friends. after almost six months apart from them, and really, almost NO communication between us (except for yuyun becos she lives downstairs)... we were still able to click together within the first few seconds. i guess this is how a real friendship feels like. we have totally different lives, different personalities, but yet we have this bond that keeps us together, no matter what we do and who we are.

i loved watching the funny banters between vhavha and yuyun. if you look at them separately, it may seem that they live in two different worlds. vhavha is more relaxed, simple, and she lives to her own rhythm. while yunita is so hyperactive, always keeping up with the current trend (being a fashion student and all), and loves the more "glamorous" life. and yet, they can connect through this stupid arguments and teasing, and it's really hard for me to explain... but you can see how they enjoy being in the company of each other and having fun together.

for me, it's nice to know that back home, i'll always have my friends. they're the ones who pull me close to home, they're the first people that i truly feel comfortable with, and i can't deny that my friends helped me become who i am now. they play an important role in my life, and no matter how far i am away from them, i won't forget how they shaped my life.

of course, every one of us is far from perfect. our differences sometimes get in the way, but somehow, we'll just snap back together. and when we do, we learn from our mistakes and our friendship matures even more.

i guess you can tell that i have so much faith in my beloved friends. after all, when you find a friend, you find a treasure, right?

i remember this quote by the philosopher, kahlil gibran:

"For what is your friend that you should seek him for hours to kill?
Seek him always for hours to live.
For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness."

amazing, isn't it? if i translate it to bahasa indonesia, roughly it is saying:
"Maka apalah artinya sahabat jika kau mencarinya untuk membunuh waktu?
Carilah dia selalu untuk waktu yang hidup.
Karena dialah yang mengisi kebutuhanmu, tapi bukan kekosonganmu."

on a different, but equally joyous note, i prayed with my mother today. i don't know how God placed this opportunity within my hands, but i thank Him for it. mom is having some doubts about her job, and she just can't make a decision about it. who am i to advise her on work, you know?

if i were the same old me, i would just let her worry about it herself. i mean, why bother with grown up's problems. but somehow, God spoke to me, and He wanted me to do just that. He nudged me to ask my mother about how she was doing. i did that, although a bit awkwardly. my mom told me about her doubts and fears, and although i understood them, i don't know what i can tell her.

but she asked me to pray for her. usually i'd just say okay and mention her to God when i'm saying my night prayers. but God nudged me again to pray together with her. she agreed. and so i prayed, i prayed that God would protect her and lead her, that God would put faith in my mother's heart that God will uphold her.

thank you so much for this opportunity, Lord. i know it wasn't much, but i felt a joy of relief to be able to encourage my own mother. i want You to work in her, just like You have worked in me. i know You have greater plans for my family, that You love us always. i will always have faith in my family. because i have faith in YOU, Father!

JEGERR, the star of pet society!

2008-12-02T01:39:00.000-08:00

INTRODUCING JEGERR!

jegerr is my beloved rascal that i play with in pet society. pet society is the new craze! it's an application in facebook, and it allows us to keep a pet and play with others and go shopping and stuff.

i just wanted to show off my jegerr in his holiday costume. see i dressed him so pretty with his fancy suit and all... and the ever-present, staring octopus! i also went crazy in the furniture shop just now, cos they just had this bunch of christmas decorations that i couldn't resist. whee!

anyone want to meet jegerr??

holiday mangoes, anyone?

2008-12-02T01:19:00.000-08:00

okay, this is gonna be my last entry before i completely revamp my blog. it's long overdue. yes. yes. everyone keeps nagging and complaining about the white-on-white text. i call it the dead style. like a ghost. invisible. geddit?? gegegege...

anyway i arrived at my dearest, lovely kelapa gading home yesterday. i understand that most of my friends thought that i was going back the day before yesterday--a sunday, with the rest of my friends like ika and jeselin (MISSPELLED ON PURPOSE). but yes, something came up.

that something, was the result of lala's humongous error. or stupidity.

AIYOOO I BOOKED THE TICKET WRONGLY LAAAH! it was supposed to be on 30th of november. and i didn't check the ticket at all when i was booking online. i didn't check when i printed it out. i didn't check. but the lady at the check-in counter in changi airport checked.

fatlady: "for clarissa amabel... yes, your ticket is for tomorrow, not today."
lala: "heh?"
fatlady: "you see the date. it's for the first of december. today is 30 november."
lala: "...HAH??"
jeselin: "HAH?"
fatlady: "yeah. so you have to come back tomorrow. you can't change it to now, cos the plane is full already. if you want to buy a ticket for today, it has to be for later tonight. and you can't change the time, you have to buy new one."
lala: "...okay."

RETARD! hahaha! i felt like screaming at myself that time, and everyone was really staring at me. then i couldn't speak, for i was way overwhelmed. and my VERY VERY GOOD FRIENDS, instead of feeling bad or sorry for me or sympathizing or anything, they sniggered. i know they wanted to laugh out loud. but they pitied me. some friends!

kidding, sisters. i love you all, no matter how mean you are to me.

and, yeah, amongst all the stupid things that i've done, this one has got to count as one of the most stupidest. quote me on that!

so... they went inside the boarding area. while i staggered back to take a taxi back to my hostel. i kept smiling at myself in the taxi, i bet the uncle driver thought i was mad! gegege! then i spent the rest of my day in evi's room, watching this japanese drama, "One Litre of Tears". i didn't shed any while evi cried and cried... why, i wonder.

anyway. yesterday i made it through the check in counter in one piece. the fat lady remembered me as the sorry girl who was rejected the day before. eheh. overall, the trip home was smooth. i wished i didn't have to go home alone again, but heh, it was enjoyable nonetheless. it was a monday, so the plane was quite empty and i had a row of seats all to myself. nice, right?

my mom kept ranting on and on about how fat i've become. I GET IT, motheerrr... what was a busy girl like me to do? i barely had time to sleep during school, let alone think about healthy eating. and i always use the same excuse, it's so jaded.

gegege!

GILAAAA.

2008-10-22T14:58:00.000-07:00

SUWER GILING.

sekarang jam enam pagi.
nanti gue ada kelas jam sembilan.
gue gak bisa tidur.
gak bisa konsen bikin tugas.
jadi gue ga ngapa-ngapain.

i blame the coffee that i took tonight.
who knew that it would backfire and torture me this way?

i'm declaring a war against coffee.
my ex-love.

i have two classes later.
advertising and visual studies.
i've no idea what to do.
i'm just praying that i'll have enough brainpower to think and work.
and i'll be working in the workshop.
if i don't get my mind straightened out, i might cut off a finger or something (KNOCKS WOOD).

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
serius, dari tadi teh jantung berdebar-debar tanpa sebab.
gak bisa istirahat.
tersiksa, man.

hmmm sepertinya gue sudah mulai cape.
tidur ah.
hopefully i can get about 2,5 hours sleep before class.

mamaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!

SIGNIFICANCE.

2008-09-06T12:38:00.000-07:00

over and over again, i struggle with this issue.

i know i'm incredibly vain, but i have to be honest: i want people to remember me. not remember me as just a face in the crowd, but i want to really struck a chord in people's lives. i want to be SIGNIFICANT. at least for the people i care about.

right now is 3.40am in the morning, and assessments are coming in less than 48 hours. i still have projects waiting to be finished, but i took the time to chat my night away and browse through the almost-obsolete friendster.

oh dear, i thought. everyone seems so happy. and where am i?

before i returned to singapore this july, i made a promise to myself that i won't make the same mistakes. i will NOT let my assignments take over my life--i was gonna put relationships first, because they matter most. i will always allow time for my friends, my family, at least to let them know that i'm still here. i care.

but for whatever reason, i don't think i carried out my plan well enough. i wasn't as horrible as before. i still drop off comments here and there. i say hi to them on msn. but i feel like there's still an inner part of me who prefers not to be a part of this. i dunno. i know i was a very, very uncaring person. as in my pride was big enough not to start a conversation first, or ask them how they're doing, that sort of thing. i mean, i'm being honest here. inside i was actually curious about them, but i resisted the urge to ask--i didn't want people to think i'm too... SKSD, you know. i didn't want them to think that i was soooo free and i was so kepo, i wanted them to think that i had better things to take care of. they gotta make a move first, man. they had to reach out to me. so i resisted the urge to reach out to them. and then the resistance began to come naturally. I KNOW it's horrible and SICK and just plain WRONG. that's why i'm trying so hard to fix things up.

i'm struggling. on one hand, i want to maintain my friendship with them. but on the other hand, sometimes it feels so hard just to click on their name and say hi. what am i going to say? hi, then, what?? it feels so cheesy just to make up a conversation for the sake of talking. i don't know. i think my mindset is somewhat twisted.

i want a friendship that will last a lifetime. i love my friends, and i want them to know that. i love my girls in jakarta. i love my agape family. i love all those other fools i hang out with. i love my nafa sisters. i may not be perfect. i may disappoint them at times. i may get disappointed at other times. but i know God has put them in my life for a powerful reason, and i will not let go.

my prayer:
Lord, break my heart for what break yours. break my heart again, for those people that you've put in my life. for my parents, my sister, and all my beloved friends. i don't want to be a fake. i want them to see how much i really care. help me Lord to take action. i don't want to just speak my love, i want to act on it. teach me how to love like You love me. i don't need significance just for the sake of fame. i want You to use me to build others, to support me, to become an extension of Your hand in this world. i believe You will take care of me, and You know You're my very, very, very, true blue best friend. amen.

prince caspian & indiana jones

2008-05-30T10:44:00.000-07:00

so this past week, the only thing i did beside slacking? watching movies. this monday i saw The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian with mada and dee. then last thursday i went to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull with omenk and the crew.

well, what can i say? both were marvelous flicks with super kewl special effects. and the best thing is... i watched them for 15k each! that's around S$2.30 or something. ooh indonesia.

prince caspian was extraordinary. it was exhilarating. some people said that it was lame and disappointing, but that's maybe because they didn't get the moral of the story haha. i enjoyed the movie thoroughly. from the baffling humor to the smartly depicted action scenes..

and i absolutely loved the battle scenes. it was so exciting, because the many species' involved: centaurs, minotaurs, cheetahs, mice, beavers, badgers, horses... you name it. even tree creatures! that's the coolest thing about narnia. you get to see how each of them fight, and how they protect each other as well.

the saddest part in the movie was when the narnia fighters were surrounded and outnumbered inside the telmarine's castle. the gate to the castle was closing, and if they didn't manage to get out, they would easily be slaughtered by the enemy. so a minotaur (a bull-man) drove himself under the superheavy gate to let the other narnians escape, while he struggled with the gate and the attacks of the telmarines. in the end, he couldn't hold on any longer (well he did have 5+ arrows stabbing him already) and he succumbed, falling beneath the gate. the remaining soldiers of narnia left inside the castle was practically left to fight to their death, and their leaders, peter and caspian, couldn't do anything. I ALMOST CRIEEEED!

how did they manage to win, in the end? of course aslan the mighty lion saved the day. why didn't aslan come sooner, though? most of my friends were asking this question, and i believe this is the answer.

aslan did not show up because they could not show their faith. peter, the leader, did not have faith in aslan and chose to rely on his own strength. lucy, who believed in aslan, did not have the courage to find aslan on her own. when she took the leap of faith to come to him, he would show them his mercy and grace, overflowing to no end.

it's the same thing with God. people keep whining and asking why God let bad things happen in this life. truth is, they never had faith in Him in the first place! God will only work through you if you trust Him. if you trust God and do not rely on your own strengh, He will give you His power, beyond anything the world can offer. if you love Him enough to seek His face first, even when the world is against you, then He will pour all His blessings on you, more than anything you can imagine.

man, C.S. Lewis rocks!

then the second movie i saw this week was Indiana Jones! i never completely watched the previous movies, so i was kinda clueless at first. but the opening action sequence was so gripping and exciting...with nuclear bombs, no less! hard to believe a man as smart and as strong as jones could ever exist, eh?

the storyline, at first, was really interesting. with all its mystic stuff and mumbo jumbo languange and codes and clues... you don't really get to completely understand it, but you'll think it's cool nonetheless. then when it gets to the ending... you will be left dumbfounded. i was left dumbfounded, at least. people warned me of extraterrestrial beings, but i didn't imagine it to be THAT explicit and... RIDICULOUS!

long story short, the ending was downright weird. it left you feeling weird, as if spielberg and george lucas were trying to relive their glory in sci-fi movies (yeah, E.T., star wars, anyone? not with indiana jones, thankyou.) i felt totally estranged afterwards.. and the images of the alien beings disgusted me more than the skulls and dead bodies.

sorry for spoiling the two movies. but here's my verdict (like it means anything). watch the first (PRINCE CASPIAN!!), and the second one isn't so bad, until the last 40minutes or so.

waah, saturday already! what to do!!!

who are we, really?

2008-05-27T04:15:00.000-07:00

i admit in embarrassment that today is another day wasted. i dunno, lately i feel no drive to actually live my life. i know that it's wrong in every way. but i just haven't stumbled upon anything that would pull me back up and get me back in the race. everybody's so busy. i wonder, what keeps them busy?

so today i spent my day browsing through people's friendster profiles. my old friends in high school, mostly. usually i'm too "busy" to care about others, or to find out about what's going on in their lives. but now, i realized that my own pride and stupidity has been holding me back.

people live and move on with their lives--and the others are moving on with them. the train is speeding but everyone can catch a ride on it, if they care enough to check the schedule. me? i persistently, stubbornly refused to budge and just remained on the sidelines, waiting for someone to let me know when the train arrives. in the end, i was the one left alone in the station.

wow that was deep! haha i didn't know i was capable of making such deep and MEANINGFUL metaphors mmhmm mmhmm! but i'm not joking here--that's life. it's going to whoosh right past you, and if you're not ready to hop on, you're going to be left behind.

now, i know that in life, relationships hold the first priority. i regret the days that i spent struggling with my projects, days that i could use to catch up with old friends, just letting them know that i still care. and let them know that i'm still around, by the way. i'm not saying that the projects don't matter. but what good will they be when you have no one to celebrate your success with?

well, once you fall, learn your lesson and get back up. it's good to know that no matter how deep we fell, we have our Father who will undoubtedly dive down to pull us through! no matter how horrible your wounds are, He's the one who will tend to them and heal them--not just close them up. with Jesus, you can rest assured that mercy wins over justice! and i'm here to stand witness for it.

you can say i'm rambling. maybe all of this means nothing to you and you'd rather spend your 5 minutes to read someone else's blog and laugh at their self-centered photos. and maybe you hate me for being sarcastic.

i don't know. all i know right now is that i want to really, really treasure the time i have left with my loved ones. i don't want to be left behind anymore. i don't want to see their happy faces behind the glass, unable to share in their joy. i want to get on the train and enjoy the ride with the ones i care about. and i want to tell them that it was Jesus who gave me a ride to catch up with them.

jfff 2008

2008-05-24T11:15:00.000-07:00

today i went to the main event of the jakarta food and fashion festival 2008: the carnival! wait. ermmm, okay, that wasn't totally true. fact is, i wanted to see the carnival (which is an actual parade on the street, with floats and marching bands and dancers and everything) but i couldn't find anywhere to stand without choking caused by a lack of air and dizziness from too many people. siriusly, when i came, there were probably thousands of people lining the main street, and there was nooooo way i was going to squeeze inside the nasty and unforgiving crowds of jakarta.

so i (smartly) decided to give up on watching the live parade and just watch the recording that my dad was taking. unlike my mom, my sister, and i, dad was eager to try out his new camcorder, so he was ready at the starting point of the carnival. good for him. hehe.

then mom+sis+me went to find some food instead, in the area called "Kampoeng Tempo Doeloe"--which means "Old Time Village". the organizers of this event transformed the open air area of la piazza into an actual kampong--with the old street vendors and hawker areas. in a modern, and not-so-dirty way. and it was awesome! i loved the decorations.

the food stalls on the right side, and beautiful overhead decorations

this is la piazza

mom, who insisted on taking a picture with the BECAKKKK

and this, fellas, is the official mascot of JFFF! pretty, no?

after a hasty uncomfortable dinner (nasi bebek goreng!), we watched a super awesome fireworks display. la piazza always rocks with fireworks!

then diana came by to see me, and i went along with her... wandering mindlessly to nowhere, because she just talked and talked and talked... she said they (my group of friends at home) had sooo many stories to tell. i was somewhat overwhelmed--it seemed like they had so many exciting events happening here! made me jealous: all i had was work, work, work! haha!

later i met up with mada and her brother. then we met up with mada's cousin and his friend... who seemed to be hitting on diana. i dunno leh. now my girl friends hang out with new people, and even though it is completely normal and understandable, it just feels soooo... different.

i'm not saying that my friends changed. well, maybe--but what else was i expecting? was i expecting my friends to stay exactly the same way i left them, five months ago? of course they had their own lives, apart from me. and while i found new friends in singapore, they found new friends right here.

to tell you the truth, i feel soooo... TJOEPOE! it's not that i have low confidence--i am tjoepoe (means UNCOOL) voluntarily, as in i have no objections whatsoever to being tjoepoe. i mean, i don't mind being uncool, because i'm comfortable like this. i don't need to become one of the "cool" crowd to feel secure.

it's just that, when your friends CHANGE...when their values change while mine stay the same.. it kinda surprised me a little. they didn't completely change--which makes me wonder how would i react if they did! but i know who i'm supposed to be, and i believe that i don't have to follow anyone if i'm not comfortable with it. this is not about being afraid to step out of my comfort zone. this is about knowing who you are supposed to be (whoa, deep huh?), according to HIM who created you.

oh well. call me TJOEPOE and i don't care!

btw: i still love my friends and i'm not saying that they shouldn't change. haha. just be careful of where you're going.

back after a shower!

2008-05-22T04:17:00.000-07:00

haha, okay, now i'm back! just took a shower, and now i'm ready to speak out like a sane woman. really--what's with the weather these days! my friend said that this IS how it is in jakarta--live with it. ohh dear, i may sound so vain after only 6 months, but, hello! how i can i live like this? hahahha anyways... moving on!

today i watched 27 Dresses on dvd. that's what i'm going to be doing for the rest of my holidays: watching dvds and catching up on good flicks that i missed. despite the miserable fact that the dvd was lousy and i couldn't understand half of what they were saying, i enjoyed the movie!

the movie is about jane nichols (katherine heigl), a woman who has been a bridesmaid 27 times--the perfect angel for your wedding. she believes in true love and she knows how to appreciate other people's most memorable day: their wedding. never saying no to the bride's wishes, jane dutifully fulfills every request while hoping that one day they will also be there for her on her own special day.

okay, generally, this is another typical romantic comedy. a little bit of romance, a little bit of fun, a little bit of whimsy, a little bit of physical comedy. but in this movie, it all works perfectly! at least for me. i love the main character--she's the nicest girl-next-door you could ever find in movies and she's so strong and lovable.

the male main character, kevin (james marsden), is a cynical, too-cool-for-romance guy who ironically writes the most romantic wedding stories for the new york journal. he is one of the main reasons why this movie rocks: I LOVE JAMES MARSDEN! you have to admit it--those striking blue eyes will charm you like nothing else (i am a sucker for bright blue eyes: alexis bledel, i love you too). his character is cynical yet fun and somewhat mischievous.

also, kudos to the costume department! aesthetically, this movie is gorgeous. i love the simple chic clothing that jane wears, and the casual (droolworthy) look that kevin dons. and the 27 dresses to which we owe the title are simply charming in their own funny ways.

all in all, this is a simple adorable chick flick--i love it. the storyline is quite simple and not-that-original, but it managed to brighten up my day and the image of james marsden still lingers in my mind. tee-hee!

check out the movie's official website!

just reached indonesia

2008-05-22T02:32:00.000-07:00

i just reached indonesia two days ago--this is the moment where i'm supposed to say, "hello holiday!", right? well, i already planned out all the things that i wanted to do while i'm here... watch a bunch of dvds, hang out with friends, take watercolour lessons...

but all of those dreams were easily DESTROYED! okay, a bit exaggerating (like always), but i seriously cannot stand the HEAT here. i don't have a thermometer so i have no idea how hot it actually is. all i know is that my house's aircon sucks and there's even no aircon in my family room!

i cannot stand the heat, i seriously can't. i feel like my brain's MELTING inch by inch, and i can barely think because it's so freaking hot. am i supposed to get used to this weather? right now i'm inside my parents' room with the aircon on.. but still i feel so hot.

okay, i am sorry that i have to fuss over this in here. i wanted to post about this monday's barbecue at east coast, but i can't bloody think. maybe later tonight, after i take a shower to rejuvenate myself.

later!

i miss SMAK 5!

2008-03-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

my goodness, i won't even start about how long i've left this blog in hiatus. school is really, really mad. but at least it's over!! ...for now. siriusly, this term's assessment has really left me dry and squeezed all the life out of me. umm. hyperbolic? haha!

neeway, it's the second day of my term break--actually it has started from last week, but my project submission was a bit later than others. and just now, in the shower, i was thinking...

and i realized HOW I MISS SMAK 5.

smak 5 is where i went to high school last year. i never actually finished my high school education cuz i went to nafa. and i was thinking about just how many things i missed... how many experiences that i couldn't be a part of... how i missed the people so much.

most significantly right now, i miss my OSIS--the student council.

entah kenapa, tadi pas lagi shower, yg pertama gue kangen itu icen! hehehehe soalnya gue inget rapat mos, rapat-rapat terakhir yang gue ikutin selama libur juni-juli. icen yg konyol tp bisa tiba-tiba dewasa, trus dengan cerita cintanya yang gue gak tau akhirnya gimana. HEHE. udah gitu libur kemaren kita gak sempet jalan bareng, huuu!

lalu inget sama anak-anak bidang 1, bidang kerohanian.. inget jhayo, pete, ama bete. gue inget betapa kita pusing banget sama kerjaan dulu, secara bidang kita tuh paling banyak isinya di prosata, hehehe. gile, kalo dipikir-pikir hebat banget dulu gue rela bolak-balik, bolos pelajaran, cuma buat fotokopi buletin SMAK 5. kalo sekarang gue gak tau deh apa gue masih mau, hihi. lalu persekutuan doa tiap hari sabtu, yang sesungguhnya kalo diinget membuat hatiku miris karena sepiiii terus. setelah diinget-inget masih banyak kerjaan di bidang 1, sebagian tanggung jawab gue, yang masih tersisa--ngurusin kebaktian padang, "lomba" ayat alkitab, dll. nggak rela banget deh meninggalkan itu semuaaaa.

inget sama ketua osis yang juga sahabatku, si magda. dulu gue nulis lho di livejournal gue, kebimbangan gue saat dia dicalonin jadi ketua osis--sebagian dari diriku tak rela melepas sobat, sebagian pengen banget ngeliat dia sukses di jalannya. terbukti, lagian, si magda cocok banget jadi ketua osis. dia jadi dewasa dalem tanggung jawabnya, dan meskipun emang jadi sibuk dan lebih jarang main bareng, tapi gue tau mada usaha banget menyeimbangkan kerjaan sama temen-temen yang merasa ditinggalkan. magda, aku kangen!

trus ada juga cowok-cowok juniorku yang dudul-dudul tapi kocak-koocak... si rama, robet, ama pe-a. ih, udah lama deh gak cetink ama mereka! si rama yang gelo n suka gak nyambung, ada pe-a yang BIANG GOSIP BANGET YEEEE--pe, kita gak jadi jalan bareng juga! so many unrequited promises--lalu ada si obet yang mupeng! hihihihi!

masih banyak temen-temen di osis lain yang gue rindukan.. ada goin si senyum menawan, ellen yang lucu dan ANEHHHH, labha yang supercentil...

bener-bener gue thankful banget kalo gue punya kesempatan untuk pelayanan di osis. gue waktu itu jujur, niat banget pas diwawancara, karena gue sungguh-sungguh ingin punya pengalaman di sini. sebetulnya gak jelas juga, sih, alesan gue kenapa gue niat banget pengen jadi osis. without judging anyone, banyak orang yang kepengen jd osis supaya jadi orang penting. supaya bisa ngegerecokin anak-anak baru pas mos, biar dapet respek dari orang lain.

sementara gue? gue nggak bilang bahwa motivasi gue murni dan mulia ingin memberikan yang terbaik. sebagian besar emang gue pengen melayani--dan dalam arti melayani, bukan menjadi orang penting--dan gue ingin membuktikan ke diri gue sendiri bahwa gue worth it. bahwa gue bisa melakukan something yang berguna.

dan bersyukur banget kalo Tuhan udah mengabulkan doa gue. gue bener-bener belajar banyak dari waktu singkat gue menjadi bagian osis--cuma setengah taun, karena gue harus ciao ke singapur. gue dapet kabar bahwa gue diterima di nafa bahkan pas abis pelantikan, jadi anak-anak yang lain juga bingung, situasi ini mau diapain. sempet tercetus mau gantiin gue dan ika sama mantan osis taun lalu, tapi guru pembina kami bilang jangan. aduh, makasih banget lho buuu. gue ngga mau dipecat sebelum sempet berbuat apa-apa. gue gak bilang apa-apa sih waktu itu, malu dong, kan kesannya egois.... heheheh.

di osis, gue belajar dipimpin dan memimpin. ada saatnya kita harus nurut, dan ada saatnya kita mesti bisa menjadi pemimpin. dalem semua tugas kepanitiaan gue, gue berusaha untuk menjalani semuanya dengan santai--gue ngobrol sama temen-temen yang lain sebagai temen biasa--ngga mau sok-sok business gitu, dan membuat suasana yang rileks and fun. makanya gue suka ngegosip di tengah-tengah rapat, hihihi...

dua karakter gue yang paling menonjol saat jadi panitia apapun: perfeksionis dan keras kepala! gue mau melakukan yang terbaik, gue pengen mendapatkan hasil yang terbaik--gak peduli keterbatasan waktu, dana, atau kemauan orang lain. trus gue keras kepala. hehehe. jadi kalo gue udah bener-bener kepengen something, gue bakal perjuangin terus abis-abisan sampe yang lain setuju. kalo mereka komplen gak mau latihan, pasti gue keukeuh supaya target latihannya tercapai.

yang paling memuaskan dari semua ini adalah saat lu dihargai. saat orang lain respek sama elo sebagai pemimpin, dan saat orang lain menghargai kerja keras lu. saat orang lain punya pendapat buat kerjaan lu, yang berarti mereka peduli.

huahahahha. gak jelas ya? saat-saat ini emang gue ga bisa mengorganisir pikiran dengan baik =P saat kata-kata dan ocehan mengalir bebas dari pikiran. oh well! off now! heheheheh!

happy day yesterday

2008-01-26T07:28:00.000-08:00

finally after a long time of dreary days... i could get some real fun! to tell you the truth i've been feeling quite under pressure since the start of school. it's that i can't seem to get over my old class--i miss 1M so much--and if i compare this class to my old class... well let's just say i'll be sulking my whole semester.

but who says i want to spend my school year in gloom? NOT ME.

anyways after my first class, i was planning to go to little india with meiman and dinda--we had to take pictures for john's class. just as i was coming downstairs, i met ika and yee pin at the foyer! hahah it's been a long time since i spoke to yee pin--she's a very cheerful girl that became my very first friend in nafa. and she's just as noisy as ever. now she's in the same class as ika so it's kinda even funnier. hehehe.

then meiman introduced me to her friends: miki (sp?) and jazz. i'm so glad that they turned out to be really nice people--and i'm not saying this because i'm nice even tho I AM HAHA--they're really friendly, friendlier than most of my current classmates XP we ate near school and then our new friends gave us some joke questions.. aiyah singaporean jokes lah!

Q: What MRT station used to be a Teletubby?

Clue: it's the GREEN line.

A: Ex-PO!! *topples over*

Hahaha. RIDIKKULUS RIGHT?? but i think it's funny lehhhhhehehehehehhehe...

so after lunch we already lost half our might to go little india, because it was 1pm already and we have class at 3. then we met their friend, an indonesian, shienny. we asked her to come along and she said go to her place to put her stuff first... so we followed suit...

turns out her place is QUITE FAR to walk to... must go sophia road all the way through. and then at first glance, her place was kind of... spooky, i must say. it was an old building and it seemed as if it was once used as a hotel or some sort.

then by the time we sat down in shienny's room...

meiman: "ah i don't wanna go little india already, no mood... let's go sunday."

HAHAHA. so much for determination.

so then we chose to spend the rest of our time the best way we know how: PHOTO TAKING! meiman was so excited to take pictures cuz she thought the place was "vintage"... i don't really think so myself, but everyone was happy to join in anyway. and for the first time in two weeks, i felt free--i felt like i could entirely be myself, even with new people.

one of my friends told me that she knew some of the people in my class and she tells me that they're pretty snobby. i won't be a tattletale and give out names, but i think she's right. they won't even look at me outside class, let alone offer a nice smile. geez.

anyway, around 2.30, we were all tired from the photo taking session, so we decided to go back to school and slack around in the library. we stopped by cold storage to grab some light snacks in the way =D

i tried to take a nap in the library but i couldn't sleep.. then we exchanged email addys... then finally it's time to go to class. ironically, the last class of the week is the most, um, THRILLING class of all. it's one of the most important classes, i think: Fundamental Graphic Design & Advertising. the teacher is also a very strict and experienced one.

but before i go to class, i met ley kim and kaiming and yulin!! i was so excited to see kim and kaiming cuz they're the only persons from 1M that i haven't seen since school started. so i rushed over to them and we chatted for a while. kim said darran is planning a class--um, ex-class gathering. i can't wait.

i guess, you really never realize the value of what you've got 'til it's gone.

i really miss my old class, 1M. i know i mustn't live in the past, but they were really, really great. i've always felt that in 1M, we're like one big ol' family. there were never any particular "cliques" or separate, exclusive groups. we can get along with each other very well, and none of us stick out like a sore... what's it called?? i forgot what's the idiom hahah. sore wound?? aiyo wtv larh. anyway, i feel like we were very ordinary people, average people, perhaps even BORING people, haha. that's why we can get along nicely. it was a blessing to know them!

okae okae, enough sappy moments.

i was exhausted when the class began, but just like everybody else, i sat up straight to listen to every word the lecturer had to say. i guess he got a certain charisma of a designer--it seems like he really knows his stuff, he's been through everything in the design industry. we got a lot of projects from him, but as geeky as it may sound, i'm excited!

well it's quite late already. tonight i met miki and jazz again at church! i didn't know they also go to chc... hehehe. i guess i gotta wrap up now. tomorrow go little india. seriously, this time. hehe!

obsessed with VIRTUAL VILLAGERS!!

2008-01-20T18:41:00.000-08:00

well, yes, i have totally succumbed to the temptations of mini-gaming.

hahaha. what i call mini-games are basically games that you can simply download off gamehouse.com, games like diner dash, feeding frenzy, etc. well you can of course buy the full version, but being the dedicated indonesian that i am, i don't go buying when i can just download.

oh. and firstly i apologize to all indonesians that may be offended 'cuz the way i'm implying that indonesians are stinky no-good pirates. THAT IS SOOO WRONG. we are stinky, VERY GOOD pirates =D *gets stabbed*

haha.

okiedokie, so the cool thing is my roommates and i are all into these games. sometimes someone would download a new game then play it then share it to everybody else, and vice versa. that's why if you visit my room around 8pm then you would likely discover three teenage girls on their respective beds, concentrating very seriously on their games. respectively.

ah, anyway, the latest craze to storm my room is: VIRTUAL VILLAGERS 2!!

so the game is about building your own village and helping your villagers survive. a sort-of-like-age-of-empires kinda thing, only much simpler. your villagers are only mini mini sprites that walk around funny... the funnest part is because the game plays real time, so even if you turn your computer off, the time still passes.

now every day after we go back from school we would rush home to check our villagers. late at night we would compare each other's villages. we name our villagers our friends' names. we are practically getting OBSESSED with this game, if not already.

walaaoeeee.

I REALLY MUST STOP WASTING MY TIME ON MINI CUTE VERY FUNNY GAMES!!

first day of school

2008-01-14T17:50:00.000-08:00

let me begin this post by screaming out: "WHY CAN'T I DOWNLOAD MUSIC FROM MULTIPLY ANYMORE??" omg this is so unfair! i've been relying on multiply to supply my music needs, and now it decides to REMOVE the "download" button?? WTH LAH! i'm trying to find new alternatives right now... wish me luck gegegegege...

(yes, i know that i am overly selfish and unfair for the artists. but a broke girl's gotta do what a broke girl's gotta do, man.)

ANYWAY. FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL YESTERDAY.

my class starts at 3 so i had a lot of time to spend before school. i met up with sandra and junzhu--separately--and i had lunch with zhu and her friend esther! man it feels great to see them again, because they make nafa feel like home =D

ooh anyway, i met rebecca too. and the moment she saw me, her eyes widened, and she started to pinch my cheeks all over, and said, "CLARISSA WHAT DID YOU EAAAAT??" *stab stab stab* lolz. and i was like, "What? What?? Why??? Did I grow fat???" and then becs honestly replied, "YEEEESSSS!!!"

omg it was so funny. hahahahahhaha. okay, then i did a simple math of myself. when i came back from singapore to jakarta, people in jakarta said i'm fatter. and now when i come back to singapore FROM JAKARTA, singaporeans said I'M FATTER!! so that means i've grown fat TWICE!! *______* oh dear. curse all the good food in this world.

after lunch i went to popular to buy (finally) The Purpose Driven Life. then i went back home and tried to nap, but i couldn't, because i was so nervous about my class and my heart was just pounding its way out of my chest!

alas, the dreaded class begins. i arrived around 2.55, so i was almost late, so to speak. i met ika in the elevator. then i walked into the classroom to see two lines of people sitting face to face in a weird seat arrangement. i chose the seat in the very back, and sat next to a familiar face--a friend of a friend.

now i guess i'm quite lucky, i'm in 1 L (1 LALA LOH), and i have 3 other indonesians in my class (god answered my prayers, thankYOUUU!) and i have 2 ex-1M classmates with me, qayum and shekyn. thing is, i wasn't very close to them so i dunno lah.

my first impression of the class was... creepy. they were soooooo quiet. can't blame them tho, cause i'm known to be silent myself at first. then after a while, the lecturer began the lesson. he started with the typical introduction... and said that it was his first time teaching. i noticed he had a different kind of english from other singaporeans and i was right--he just came back from the US.

in short, he managed to share some points about the design industry--helpful for me, i guess. it's always interesting for me to find out more about my future environment. we had to introduce ourselves. hhhhh. we finished the class after 2 exercises and 1 project briefing. the project seems very fun: we had to design a watch face!! OOH!!

anyway, i guess in the end, everyone was just as nervous as me. so i don't think i should feel so strange about myself, right? i just hope i can make good friends in this class, and have fun in the process. last night cecile said that this class will go on until the second year, soooo BETTER ENJOY THE CLASS.

last night, when jez, ika, and i came to the 7th floor to wash our clothes, we dropped by cecile's room. i missed her and the others! we talked and laughed and then she asked us to accompany her to the 6th floor to give away brownies (NOTE TO ALL SINGAPOREANS: GO BANDUNG MUST EAT BROWNIES. BEST BROWNIES EVER) i honestly felt very weird about going to the 6th floor cuz it's all boys rooms. erm, yeah, i guess it's because we've only kept to ourselves all this time.

from there we went to evi's room and we had the chance to peek at her old works (she's a sophomore in nafa interior design course) bloody scary! i mean it looked so good but i bet it was so tough to do. then i felt so glad that i'm not in ID. i would totally suck in all the technical drawing projects.

... when i go down to other floors of my hostel, everybody knows everybody. and it made me realize that i haven't really socialized with others. of course it's mostly because 9th floor, my floor, is kinda secluded, because there're only a few people here, and downstairs... well, it's just so different, you know. now i know that i'm missing out on so much. gee.

anyway, must wrap out the entry now 'cause it's time for me to get ready. school starts at 12. hehe. hope i have a better day with my new class!

results are out!

2007-12-28T00:53:00.000-08:00

after a long wait, finally, the nafa results are OUT! i had to ask my agent in singapore to email the results, cuz i really couldn't wait to find out.

turns out that the results were not exactly brilliant, though. my GPA is 2.8--which is just OKAY, and i was expecting something MORE THAN OKAY. i got 2 A's, 2 B's, and 3 C's.

disappointed, my first instinct was to create excuses for myself: I LOST 2 OF MY PROJECTS. my teachers were very picky-picky... and so on and so forth. shortly, i tried to tell myself that it wasn't completely my fault that i didn't score as well as i expected.

i was kinda scared to tell my parents about it, especially mom who usually has a high expectation from her kids. but you know what? my mom only said, "well, it's alright. you can score better next year, right?" i didn't expect her to accept it so easily and even encourage me about it!

it made me realize that no matter how many excuses i come up with to make myself feel better, deep down i know that if someone was to blame, it was me. if my teachers suck, then i have to work harder to get better results. i must take care of my projects so that i don't lose them again. there's no point in making excuses if you don't do something about it.

so, 2008, here i come! ready to make changes, and ready for a better future!

ooh, on the brighter side of days... tomorrow night i'm gonna have a barbecue party with my best friends! i wouldn't call it a new year's celebration cuz it's two days early, but since i've no idea what to do for new year's eve, might as well enjoy myself tomorrow. HAHA.

lately i've been very dreamy. as in i keep getting big dreams for the future. maybe it's because of this camp that i joined--ADAM KHOO, does that ring a bell, anyone? haha, anyway, at first i sulked about it--i wanted to spend my holidays with my friends and even though the camp was only 4 days long, it made me miss my church's christmas celebration!

but shortly after the camp started i immediately forgot all that. the camp was called "I Am Gifted, So Are You!" and it was really a new experience. i learned that to be successful, you need to have the mindset of success. success, in this case, is not only financially or academically, but also PERSONALLY. like the CHC pastor always says, "you are a person of destiny!"

anyways, i would love to share my experiences in the camp here, but there's too much to tell and honestly i don't really feel like writing much in my blog--hahaha. my mind is very... messy right now, as in i can't really concentrate on anything. whoopsie.

you know something i'm addicted to right now? FINAL FANTASY XII. it's insanely distracting me when i'm at home, all i want to do is settle in an armchair and hold that joystick in my hands and stare at that bloody tv screen all day long, which is quite destructive. hahaha. which is why i'm blogging right now. to get my mind off that stupid game. game like crack. so addictive.

you can see how destructive it is from the way i'm writing. UTTER NONSENSE AND POINTLESS. hahahahahha!

i better end this now. but not without a greeting!

a happy belated christmas

an early wonderful new year

for us all!

image courtesy www.fluffshop.com

god loves ugly

2007-12-11T21:45:00.001-08:00

below is the lyrics to a song by Jordin Sparks, winner of the latest season of american idol. the first time i listened to it, i felt like i could totally relate to it--i know thousands of teenagers out there would feel the same. not that i like to think that i am ugly, but there are numerous times when you're suddenly attacked by insecurity, in spite of all the confidence you have in you. and there are people who always feel that they're not pretty enough. now what's up with that?

well, this song tells you something important: God Loves Ugly. and it's all that matters. he sees what other people can't see in you, because you are all beautiful in his eyes. and you ARE beautiful, because God created you himself! he makes everything beautiful, especially you.

God Loves Ugly, by jordin sparks

You said that I wasn't pretty
So I just believed you
And you said that I wasn't special
So I lived that way

With critical gazes and brutal amazement
And how my reflection could be so imperfect
With all of my blemishes, how could somebody want me?

But God loves ugly
He doesn't see the way I see
Oh god takes ugly
And turns it into to something that is beautiful
Apparently I'm beautiful
Cause you love me
Whoa, oh

I tried to clean up the outside
All shiny and new
Worked over time to thin up and look right

But inside I knew
That deep in the bottom were secrets I thought I could try to ignore
Old ghosts in my corridors
Never get tired of haunting the past that's in me

[Chorus]
But God loves ugly
He doesn't see the way I see
Oh god takes ugly
And turns it into to something that is beautiful
Apparently I'm beautiful
Cause you love me

Help me believe why you love me
When I know you see
You see everything
Help me believe why you love me
When I know you see
Inside and you still say I'm beautiful

You're telling me I'm beautiful
Your screaming out I'm beautiful
And I'm finding out I'm beautiful
You're making me so beautiful
And I can see I'm beautiful
Cause you love me
Whoa, oh

don't feel like posting anything...

2007-12-02T07:44:00.000-08:00

but here it is, something to let you know i didn't die in an air crash from singapore to jakarta.

heeeeey. come to think of it, most of my posts start with cynical greetings, huh? okae, okae, must change my habit. let's start with sweet-sweet-hello's.

why, hello everybody! gee, it's been quite a while, i really miss you all, lolz! *giggles*

ohmygod, i make a horrible twelve-year-old *shudder*. just not me, issit?

anyways, i arrived last wednesday, if anyone's interested. luckily i had the chance to go out quite often since i arrived, otherwise i'd be brain-dead by now. but i got the feeling i'm gonna have a LOT of time to myself next week, since my friends are all having their exams.

let's see...

hari kamis gue ke skul, nimbrung anak2 osis rapat pleno (hihihi sok masih osis, geli ye?).. then i had a HATEFUL run-in with the most horriblest person in the whole school--sebut aja namanya dimulai dengan R dan diakhiri dengan ITA. tidak seperti guru-guru yang lain yang menyapa saya dengan baik hati, menanyakan kabar saya, dan lain-lain, tapi ibu guru yang satu ini malah mengusir gue, tau gak!! bilangnya sih, "dia kan nggak boleh masuk ke dalem, ya?" (ngomongnya sama temen gue, gitu).. trus pas gue bodo amat masuk, DIA NYURUH SATPAM NGUSIR GUE!! KAYAK GUE KRIMINIL GITU!

hahaha, sorry for the bitterness. i'm pleasant with most people, except a few, and she's one of them.

eniwei, jumat gue jalan ke mol (lagi) sama cewek-cewekku... cari kado buat temanku vhavha yang mau party! lalu hari sabtunya aku party! ...separty-partynya gue ya cuma sweet seventeen party, mentokkk, hahaha.

tapi gue seneng lhoh! soalnya pesta vha2 kemaren tuh dresscodenya HALLOWEEN, padahal tanggalnya meleset jauh. tapi tetep aja seru, 'cuz it gave us reason to dress up! gue memilih untuk menjadi... emm, penyihir cantik. KENAPA MESTI PAKE CANTIK YA? JADI JIJAY! hahaha! ehh, tapi gue lumayan niat lho. secara gue bawa lilin, jadi gue diberikan topi penyihir (agak aneh sih topinya, masa pake tengkorak2 gitu), lalu gue sampe BELI TONGKAT SIHIR gitu di singapur! 3 dolar bo! hehehek, padahal kalo diliat tongkatnya keliatan murahan, tau ga. bodo amat ah, kan lucu!

temen-temen yang lain juga banyak yang lucu-lucu, lho. yuyun datang dengan trisula homemade dari gagang sapu (culun ajeeee haha tapi bagus sih!). si pe-a datang dengan atribut gratisan cinemags: magic wand dan syal gryffindor, ceritanya dia jadi harry potter gitu! DODOL DEH! hehehe.

oh yang paling SIYAL mah si ika. dia kan tadinya diberikan hidung panjang oleh si empunya pesta. trus idungnya ga bisa nempel. JADINYA DIA DIKASIH KACAMATA+IDUNG+KUMIS+TEROMPET!! triple combo maut, huwakakakak! trus gue berhasil mengabadikan kehinaannya lagi. liat luh ka. blackmail is wonderful!

OH YANG PALING GOKIL MAH DEWI! dia datang dengan kostum a la cosplay yang lengkap... jadi samurai, bo! ya ampun, niat banget.... jelas aja dia menang best dressed...

wait for the slideshow to load, please... only four photos leh, hehehe! or you can click on the view show if it won't load.

after assessment madness~

2007-11-23T06:12:00.000-08:00

wow! it turns out i live to see the world after the assessments! miracles happen!!

haha--just kidding. miracles do happen, but don't consider this is one.

after an exhausting and sleepless week+3 days, the battle is finally over! whether victory is achieved, is not determined yet. but it's not important anyway now. what's important is that WE ENJOY THE HOLIDAYS! HURRAH!

i must sound so messed up @_____@ you know what's even more messed up? i had SEVEN WHOLE DAYS to prepare for the assessments! i had one week off school to do all my projects, yet i still had to stay up for nights to do them. walaoeee! it's not as if the projects are overloading--i mean they are a lot, but one week should've been enough, without having to sleep at 5 or 6am. crazeeeee.

heh. forget the assessments. let bygones be bygones! hahahahaha.

okae, so initially i had a lot of things to share in this entry. but i kinda forgot most of them by now, hahaha XD i wanted to blog before dinner, but then i got caught up reading someone else's blog and now it's 10.30 already, so, yeah, uhm.

well, holidays mean going home, going home means souvenirs, souvenirs mean SHOPPING!! yesterday jez, ika, and i went to ikea, again. it was really a spur-of-the-moment thing. i mentioned 'let's go ikea tomorrow', and then, they were, 'OKAY!', so we go! hahaha, i love impulsive decisions!

speaking about impulsive decisions, i am not the person who is most likely to make them, but they're great sometimes. usually, before i go shopping, i plan everything. where to go, what i want, how much should i spend, etc etc. i even RESEARCH books and games before i buy them! call me kiasu but i find that way very satisfying. ha.

well, not today though. TODAY IS THE DAY OF IMPULSIVE REIGN! ahahahahha! anyway, the first impulsive decision i made was that i wanted to go to bras basah and then bugis, alone. i may sound weird, but i enjoy going to bras basah by myself! i have time to browse as long as i want...and my friends know i take a LONG time for just browsing, especially in a bookstore!

then, the second impulsive decision came when i saw A BOOK FAIR in bras basah. book fair means cheap books. and hello, this is bras basah, where books are already cheap. so that means: EVEN CHEAPER BOOKS! i started digging at the first spot near the entrance, where they have books from $1. and they have good fiction books for $2!!!

needless to say, i spent hours there. i really didn't know that they were having a book fair, but i am SO GLAD i went there! after the book fair, i proceeded to my original destination, popular. AND AGAIN I WAS GREETED BY DISCOUNTS~ how could i resist?

so here are my finds, just for bragging rights.

should i bring all of them back to indonesia?? SO HAPPYYYYY!

the three books at the top row are the His Dark Materials trilogy. the first of the series has been made into a movie, The Golden Compass, premiering this december. i was planning (see, ever-so-thoughtful like me) to buy the series at kinokuniya ($40 a set), but then I FOUND THEM, AND FOR $2 EACH! at first i hesitated. i wanted a new set for myself. but decided against, hell, i could use the $34 to buy a lot of other things!

the purple book below ($4) is a compilation of four books, i forgot what they are... only that one of them is the da vinci code--i read that already though. beside the purple book is a book by eoin colfer ($2), i dunno what it's about, all i know that his other book Artemis Fowl was very cool! hahaha, am i BIASED or what?

the last one, Nineteen Minutes, is the newest book by jodi picoult. i finished reading her bestseller "My Sister's Keeper" a while ago, but i haven't written anything about it yet. this jodi picoult book i bought @ popular at the regular price but with a 20% discount, so it's only $11-something. i hope it's good!

WOW I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD GO HOME TODAY WITH 6 BOOKS! hahaha, imagine if i had bought that His Dark Materials trilogy yesterday for $40... and today i got these 6 books for only $20something! and still in good condition! if i hadn't restrained myself i would've bought even more books, really!

...

hmm. AM I JUST THE BIGGEST NERD EVER OR WHAT?? lolz. while other people brag about their FASHION shopping, i am so excited over books, of all things! haha, i don't care, i love being a geek! i have always been a book-lover, for as long as i can remember. not that i don't care about clothes--i'm still a girl, anyway!

from bras basah, carrying plastic bags of books in both of my hands, i moved on to bugis street. i wanted to buy that jelly peeptoe flats i've been dreaming of, only to decide otherwise after i tried them on, (another impulsive decision--to cancel a previously planned decision!) for some gut feeling. then i bought these two Little Miss t-shirts for $9 each--not for myself, mind you, but as souvenirs for my sister and cousin.

the naughty one looks so nasty, i just wanna slap that grin off her face!!

other than shopping, my latest craze has been GAMES!! now this is all jeslyn's fault--she got addicted to it first, then the bug spread on to me. she got this crack for gamehouse games, so that we can play the full version for free! aiyaaa, indonesians are still indonesians... piracy at heart, hahahaha!

anyway, i'm crazy about this game: CHOCOLATIER! the game is about travelling the world, collecting recipes, producing and selling chocolates. the chocolates look SOO inviting, i just wanna eat them all! and i can shop all over the world for sugar, cacao, cinnamon, etc etc. the night after the last assessment, i played this game until 3AM!

chocolatier: selling your chocolates! don't they look so nice??

but now the game's starting to get boring lor... nevermind, once i go back home, i'll raid mangga dua for MORE GAMES!! ahahahahhahah!

tomorrow zhu and i are going to SUNTEC! yay! walaoooe, i'm sooo vain, spending my last days in singapore shopping, hahaha. it's too bad that sandy can't come... i really hoped we could all go together T___T

wellerz, 's all from me! i think this entry is quite disorganized, cuz i kept getting interrupted in the middle of typing, hahaha. hey, who knows, maybe my next entry will be from dear hometown! hihihiy!

book review: for one more day - mitch albom

2007-11-07T07:40:00.001-08:00

actually, i finished reading this book sometime ago, but i never got to write anything about it.

i first found out about mitch albom through all the good reviews about his previous book, Five People You Meet in Heaven, which i would not hesitate to recommend to all you guys.

well, luckily i was passing by the popular bookshop, cuz they had a 20% discount for selected titles, including this one! actually i didn't have much money to spend, but i just knew i had to buy it. i had to, i had to, i just had to!

hahaha, so on to the actual review. the story is about Charley Benetto, told in his narrative. charley was a broken man. since the day he lost his mother, he gradually lost everything else, until one day, he decided to end his life. for his last day on earth, he went back to Pepperville Beach, his hometown.

and there, he got a chance to meet a person whom he missed the most. he got a chance to spend one more day with her. if you got a chance to spend one more day with a person you lost, what would you do?

so the story unfolds through charley's retelling of that day, and his recollections about himself and his family as he was growing up. don't worry, i won't spoil it for you. all i can say is that even though it was set in the 50s era (and then it moved on until the 70s or so), i could totally relate to charley and his feelings.

and of course, i loved the characterization of the main character. he is not a hero, nor is he trying to be one. he's just a normal boy who always strived to please the person he looked up to, even if that meant hurting the person who loved him the most. he made mistakes, and he regretted them. he tried to follow his dreams, even though with little consideration of anything else. charley benetto is real, and very believeable.

i loved the characterization of charley's mother even more. posey benetto was not only a mother, she was a fighter. she is the type of figure who would do anything in the world for her children, even if it means sacrificing all of her. she would forgive whatever wrong they do to her. she fought for her children. she fought for herself, against all the prejudice the world had dropped on her. and she made sure all of those pressure against her would not harm her children, ever.

reading the book taught me a lesson of what could possibly be the greatest love of all (on earth, that is), the love of a mother to a child. how sincere and pure it is, and how lucky you are to experience that sort of affection.

then i began to wonder, what kind of mother would i be? lately i've been watching all the young parents that i often see on the streets, how happy and how stressed they are. but no matter what, i see that those parents--they do love their kids, even though they all have different ways of showing it. now, i know the world's not a perfect place and it's not always like that, and that is precisely why you should always be thankful because you have such great parents, who would give the world for you.

honestly, i myself haven't been a very good daughter. before i came here, i often took everything for granted, most likely my family. but when i live away from them, i realize what a big gap they left me. at home, whatever i needed, they would provide--if they think it's really what i need. they would take me wherever i need to go, be it book fairs, english competitions, shopping, etc, etc. now i have to go everywhere by myself.

not that i'm complaining. i try my best to be independent. and i know they support me all the way, if not, i wouldn't be here right now.

ahhh, we digressed.

anyway, all of you, if you got the time, READ THE BOOK!! it's a pretty short story, but it's worth every penny. i think you could finish it in one whole day--supposedly you don't stop to weep every now and then. this book is LOADED with emotions, and if you have any you will definitely drop at least a tear or two.

and i hope, when you finish the book, you will come to appreciate your parents more, and be thankful that you have them. they may not be perfect, but i'm sure they love you with all their hearts and always give you their best. and i hope that we will all, someday, become good and loving mommies and daddies ourselves!

the lala updates!

2007-11-07T02:40:00.000-08:00

hahaha, wow, it's been quite a time since i last updated the blog. sorry about that, since i was basically somewhere between laziness and upset-ness (due to my connection problems). but here i am to tell you, I LIVE ON! abwuahahahahah!

well, not many exciting things have happened lately... but that's because life here in singapore just feels DULL. everyday is schoolwork, schoolwork, schoolwork. there's nothing to keep your mind off school--since it's sooo overloading--except for occassional shopping. but just like my friend yulin said, "so long never go shopping... all my money gone to shopping at ARTFRIEND!" when she said that, i had to laugh, because of all the irony T___T

okay, so enough of the misery!

november 1st was my friend (and roomie, and schoolmate) ika's birthday! yaay, she turned 18!! back home, we usually plan surprises if one of us is having her birthday. but then, here, we have no crew--i only have jez... and myself. that's why i wasn't sure if we could give her a surprise. i wanted to, and jez really wanted to, because come on, you have to celebrate your birthday somehow!

so in the end, it was a last-minute decision. it was 5pm already, and i dragged jez out to TCC to buy ika a cake. we wanted to buy candles @ art friend, but IKA WAS INSIDE!! jez had already stepped in, so i pulled her out and then we dashed like mad, hahahaha.

after spending a lot for three slices of cake (since one whole cake would be too much) and walking a lot to find candles, we were finally ready. so we knocked the door to our room--ika was already inside--then when she opened, we half-screamed-half-sang HAPPY BIRTHDAAAAY!

well, it really was a surprise, true and true. ika said she really wasn't expecting anything because we were all so busy. of course we were busy. and we weren't expecting to give a surprise too! ahahaha!

ohhh, and lately i've been crushed and torn apart with my school works.

(1) for my photography, the teacher said that the pictures i took at fort canning was... well, the technique is there, lighting is there, but subject NOT THERE. in short, she told me to CHANGE LOCATION, which basically means all my 400+ photos were rejected *face drops* well. at least the problem isn't me =D

so in the end, i changed my location to arab street... which is a really good thing! i don't understand why jez hates the place so much.. it's a cool place to go photo-taking, so much cooler than fort canning DOHH!! siriusly, i personally think it's an interesting place. and i saw JALAN PISANG!! *oohlala oohlala* walaoeee, i sooo couldn't resist to take a picture with it, of course! luckily yesterday i had zhu with me so i had to ask her to take my picture! ahuwahawhawha... and today, when teacher saw my photo, she said i improved a lot *shiny eyes*. wahoow~! i sure hope i could score better in photo than last term...

jalan pisang! why is my face blur? i dunno leh =P shouldn't have used differential focus, ya?

(2) as for my 3D Studies... well, it was a major stab in the ego for me. for your information, i have a big problem with neatness and precision--i never get it completely right. and for 3D, we had to work in the workshop and use machinery and everything. and i SUCK at using the sawing machine (yes, saw, not sew), so all my cutting is like, SENGEK everywhere. and i mentioned about my broken project, right, that i tried to stick back together. well, when teacher saw my work (which i did for almost one whole day+night), you know what he said? "huh? DIE!"

and if teacher say die, it means die, geddit? so in short, i had to REDO EVERYTHING and supposedly i only had ONE WEEK--or THREE DAYS to work in the workshop, and all the work i've been doing for the past 3-4 weeks is wasted. whoa, that was one heavy blow, man. if i had no guts i could've broken down and cried right there, but i told myself to be strong, for God's sake. it's only a project. don't stress. just DO IT!

and God proved Himself to me one more time. i believed that i could do it, with His strength and not my own, and i did it! thank you so much, Lord. with YOU, i can take on anything!

ikea + plasing + sentosa!

2007-10-25T09:04:00.000-07:00

umm, where to start, huh?

okiedokie, so, last saturday, jesslynne and i went to IKEA!! FINALLY!! AFTER WEEKS OF WAITING!

and every trip to ikea is an adventure (at least for me), hehe. not only did we buy a bunch of stuff, i also met a guy who has a striking resemblence with koko jay!! only koko jay is much cooler. HAHAHA.

then, because we bought two tall shelves, we had to get all the goods delivered. sunday, i was rushing from fort canning park to my hostel because the ikea guy called me, in the middle of my lonesome photo-taking experience. AIYOUW! so kanjiong lah me... and it was an extremely HOT day, i almost fainted when i got back!

BUT THEN, all the fatigue faded away once i saw my precious stuff... SWEET, SWEET IKEA!

and we're sooo KIKIR (a.k.a kiasu) that we didn't bother to ask the ikea guys to assemble them for us. we believe that assembling them ourselves is the fun part of it all.

LITTLE DID WE KNOW, THOUGH.

we successfully managed to put together one small bathroom-scale storage unit for our small cupboard. then, next, we tried to assemble this cheap-cheap bookshelf that we bought for only $29. AND WE COULDN'T, because we need a DRILL to assemble it and we don't have one.

so, we were, like, "NOW WHAT?"

hahahaha, stupid, right? LUCKILY, we were able to assemble our most coveted pieces--we bought two of trofast shelving units, each for $79--with MUCH EFFORT, i tell you. although, luckily for me, jez is bloody STRONG LEH, so i don't need to bust my ass out so much.

ooh yes, we rock. in the background are our precious trofast shelves!

oohh, on wednesday, after going to the stupid park AGAIN (but i got great pictures that day!), i went on a solo trip to plaza singapura, which wasn't far from there. and i tell you, in plasing, they got EYE CANDY EVERYWHERE!! whoah, i was blinded by the number of pretty goodies that i wanted to buy (but i couldn't because i only have $18 in my camera bag haha).

WHAT CAUGHT MY ATTENTION AT PLAZA SINGAPURA:
~ the TIMES bookstore promotion! they got 20% discount on several interesting titles, including two drawing-courses books!
~ the scrapbook shop... they got all sorts of papers, materials, and whatever-you-name-it stuffs, and they were so pretty... AND EXPENSIVE, MIND YOU.
~ of course, DAISOOO! ahahahahha, mind you, the daiso in singapore is cheaper than in indonesia.
and if you have time to browse carefully, they have all sorts of cool goodies that you can snatch at only $2--okay i'm starting to sound like the saleslady.

ooh, and i broke my 3D project. SO SAD! stupid oven, stupid technician who never warn me. (riteeeee, just blame everyone)

oh, and TOMORROW (or shall i say today), is NAFA SPORTS DAY! why am i so excited, anyway?? hahaha, it's held in SENTOSA, by the way. my 2nd-year friends said that last year's event was quite boring, so i'm not so positive about tomorrow. or today. and dammit, i gotta wake up early to meet up with my friends @harbourfront.

tuesday's entry

2007-10-19T06:06:00.000-07:00

WHAT WAS I THINKING, when i suggested for us to go to Fort Canning Park today?

so, here's the 411. today, my classmates arranged for us to meet @ school (tho we don't hv class) to take the free entry ticket for NAFA Sports Day @ Sentosa. very unfortunately for kim and yulin, interior design students are actually supposed to take theirs TOMORROW, instead of today! misinformation, hello? and in the end it only took us around 10mins to take the tickets, and then we were left with a big question of "WHERE TO GO NOW?"

since i've been planning to go to the park all night, i blatantly suggested that we go photo-taking there, which is (according to a free tourist map i obtained) within walking distance of our school. kim leng agreed at once, and after a bit of persuasion, i managed to get junzhu to come along. HOORAY FOR ME!

for this photo-taking excursion, i have prepared my small kodak camera and a bunch of optimism! mind you, taking pictures is no longer a fun activity for me--more like a burden on my back. we are required to take photos of a "special quality" or wtv, basically, anything to please the teacher. GRRR. now where's the fun in that, huh?

all the way to the park, zhu kept mumbling (heh, more like chanting) "RAIN RAIN RAIN RAIN!" and kim leng and i were, like, "noooo waaaaaay!!" but the sky was already so cloudy! i was soo scared that it was going to rain--i mean, i hv to submit the photos by tomorrow, you know??

luckily it didn't rain. yet.

we spent some time walking around the park, taking pictures... then suddenly zhu began calling my name. "EEEHHH LOOK, LOOK, A SQUIRREL!" and after a lot of eye-squinting and squirrel-calls, i spotted a furry greyish animal jumping from branch to branch! too bad it was too far up and i couldn't take a picture of it, though...

then we went back to the national museum, which was right outside the park gates, to pick up sandra. and then we waited for the rain, because we wouldn't wanna be stuck in the park when it rains.

which was quite enuff time for us to fool around! zhu, kim leng, and i were all seated on this bench on castors, and kim leng suddenly moved the bench all around the empty hallway.. zhu was happily pretending to be in a boat, and honestly i don't remember what i was doing, and sandra was taking a video of the stupid moment.

THEN CAME THIS SECURITY GUARD. uh-oh, can anybody say, BUSTED?? hahaha, in the end we were told to put the bench back to its position and stop moving it around. if anybody's interested, sandra got the video in her blog!

when we walked back to the park, we stopped by this GIGANTIC BELLPEPPER SCULPTURE, which was appropriately named PEDAS-PEDAS.

then i took some more pictures. i really, really wanted to take the historical remnants that i expected to be there, but i couldn't even find my way to the bloody cannon! and i'm kinda disappointed, cuz i couldn't get anything that i really like (and i doubt the teacher would like any).

the things i do for photography!:

1. go all the way to fort canning park

2. endure the insect-ridden paths and grass

3. climb a bloody bunch of stairs!

4. touch all the dirty plants and rocks and whatever

5. almost trip because of the stupid weeds

6. have an up-close-and-personal photo shoot in AN OLD CEMETERY!!!!

and you wonder why i'm still struggling with the subject... *SIGHHHH*

advice on AGING

2007-10-17T21:32:00.000-07:00

George Carlin's Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

"How old are you?" " I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ... you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them .

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop". And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

i got this email from my friend dea, and i'm grateful for it--to tell you all the truth, i am very scared of aging! i'm still young, and i've always wanted to stay that way. just like the lost boys in peter pan, i never, ever want to grow old. but then this email helped me to see aging in a different way!

luckily, since my 17th birthday, i wasn't as scared of growing up as i used to be. i'm sure i'll find a way to live my life to the fullest--and God up there will be with me all the way.

filosofi monyong.

2007-10-10T09:39:00.000-07:00

nah, malam ini ya, selagi aku sedang rajin dan tekunnya menggambar wanita abusana, temanku yang paling monyong (ICENGICENGICENG) mengganggu lewat msn.

dan sialnya lagi, sekalinya gue ketemu iceng, biasanya tugas2 jadi terbengkalai! ngomongin apa, coba? ENGGA PERNAH JELAS, DAN ENGGA PERNAH 100% BERSIH, hahahahaaa. trus begonya lagi, dia bilang dia bangga melihat namanya di blog ini ~~(eh emaknya dink)~~!

di tengah-tengah kebodohan dan ketidakjelasan, si iceng bercerita tentang filosofi baru hidupnya yang diadaptasi dari seekor kambing jantan terkenal di indonesia. FILOSOFI INI ANEH, JIJAY, TESTOTERONE-RIDDEN, tapi gilanya, BENER JUGA LHOOO. filosofi inilah yang dianutnya (siiceng mxdnya) untuk mengejar targetnya: masuk Nanyang Technological University!

bisa dibilang muluk. tapi jujur, gue cukup terheran-heran melihat temen-temen gue di indo. mereka yang gue pikir ogah2an di skul, tiba2 begitu napsunya mau ke universitas idaman. si depe kemaren nanya2 gue tentang cara masuk nafa, hebat yaa? ternyata semua orang bisa berjuang buat mimpinya.

apa lebih tepatnya filosofi baru si iceng ini? sayangnya dia bilang nggak boleh ngasi tau, sampe ntar targetnya tercapai. IIIHHH PADAHAL PENGEN GUE TULIS LOOHHH, PASTI GEMPARRR!!! hahahahahaaaa.

berharap harap harap iceng masuk NTU!!! bakal seru banget tuhhhh... hihihi.

saviour king

2007-10-06T08:28:00.000-07:00

Saviour King

Let now the weak say I have strength
By the Spirit of power that raised Christ from the dead
And now the poor stand and confess
That my portion is Him and I'm more than blessed

Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for Your Son's holy name
And with the heavens we declare

You are our King
We love You Lord, we worship You
You are our God, You alone are good

Let now Your church shine as the bride
That You saw in your heart as You offered up Your life
Let now the lost be welcomed home
By the saved and redeemed those adopted as Your own

You asked your Son to carry this
The heavy cross our weight of sin

I love You Lord, I worship You
Hope which was lost, now stands renewed

I give my life to honor this
The love of Christ, the Savior King

Thank you for reminding me of YOUR beauty and Your faithfulness to me...

There's another version of the video above, here, from the Hillsong conference 2007. I chose to put up the UNITED version because the video is prettier (isn't Jad Gillies soooo cool?), but the other version is also nice cuz they have Darlene Zschech!

And I am incredibly grateful today, because not only have i fallen in love with this praise, but I have also taken the decision to re-commit my life to Christ. Lately, I miss HIM so much, and I know I haven't been doing the best for Him either. Tonight at church, I feel His calling once more, to step up and find in Him the beautiful relationship we once had.

I'm so glad that He loves me endlessly, and He will always take me back, even if the world shuns me away.

Let our hearts burn with a flame to worship Your holy name.

I love You and I thank You, JESUS.

MONKEY IS LOVE.

2007-10-05T09:12:00.001-07:00

the text says it all.

for this current obsession, i blame GRADI and all my other agape friends!! before i left for singapore, they bought me this GREEN big bag with a big UGLY YELLOW BANANA on it. ugly as it may be, I FELL IN LOVE WITH IT HAHAHAHA!! bananas suddenly become very inspirational for me =D

and of course one thing leads to another. my love for bananas grow into a love for MONKEYS (do the math, duh)! i was so freaking happy when i found that yellow monkey tee in mangga dua, huwahahaha.

and this is a picture of me, wearing the monkey tee, holding a teeny weeny monkey! hehe, it's actually a part of the game TUMBLING MONKEYS i told you about. my friend ika tells me that because i love monkeys so much, i'm starting to look like one. PUHLEEZ!!

so not true!!

or IS IT?

our history presentation screenshots

2007-10-05T06:31:00.000-07:00

the introduction scene: love the looks on the guys' faces!

the finale slide: SPEAK TO MY HAND, says colin OEI. hahaha.

2007-10-05T05:46:00.000-07:00

well well. i'm happy to say that i've had a great time with my friends these past few days.

this is only the second week in school, but the projects have (un-surprisingly) piled up like a mountain. the worst thing is, everybody in our class seems to still be in the holiday mood, so yeah, hahaha, expect the unexpected from us lah.

yesterday we finally got the history presentation over and done! on wednesday, the girls from our group (namely junzhu, sandra, yulin, and myself) stayed back in school until 5pm to touch up (more like redo) our presentation, and we hung out in the NAFA student lounge. it seemed like a nice place from outside, so i suggested we go there instead of the usual, crowded library.

boy, did that room SMELL!!! aiyah, i think it was the carpet and the fact that the aircon was DEAD when we came in... there were only about 5-6 ppl inside, so at least we had quite some space... but that really didn't make us any more comfortable, though. and at least they had these funky rocking chairs from ikea, which yulin and i totally loved, hahaha! we were mostly just lounging around the whole time, reading magazines and giving quite unnecessary suggestions for the project--oops, now i feel bad, haha! meep.

and then yesterday before the history class we all piled up in the library to finish up the presentation--with kaiming and colin also. and then we rehearsed our presentation, and it was hilarious!! in the end, sandra said she thought our presentation was quite successful. well, good for us, then, hahahaha!

today junzhu wasn't feeling quite well, so she, sandra, and i went back to my hostel room during the 3-hour break before sculpture class. they were so excited to visit my room, i wonder why XP and you know what sandra said? she said i'm always very neat with my project, so it was shocking to see my room in a shipwreck condition, huwahahaaa. see, that's why i'm always a bit reluctant to receive guests--cuz i have such an embarrassing place! agaggagaaaaa =D

walaoe.

tonight, i'm feeling quite pathetic.

and i feel that i have such a humongous ego.

i know it's not a good thing.

then would somebody tell me what to do?

i really, really, really don't feel like talking. but then i don't want to feel lonely either. sheesh, life can get so complicated at times.

i loveeee ikea!

2007-09-30T06:51:00.000-07:00

for some reason, i had fallen in love with IKEA at first sight. seriously.

i've always loved looking at pretty things--be it artwork, clothes, or interior spaces. and i love it even more to look at pretty and ~~CHEAP~~ affordable things! i believe that you can have beauty without breaking the bank (okay, too much DIY consumption for me..)--and yes, i also love DIY projects, even though i barely ever do them myself.

so that's why i was HYPNOTIZED when i first got my hands on an ikea catalogue--i think it was a stolen loan catalogue of ikea singapore. i remember it was the 2004 (or 2005) edition. i had no idea where my mom got it. but I ADORED IT.

i simply loved their ideas and ideals--and i believed almost everything they say. i completely embraced their concept: why pay someone else to do what you can do yourself?? like, NOW YOU'RE SAYING, MAN! hahaha XD and they had such beautiful things and beautiful settings in the catalogue... wow.

the first time i actually stepped inside the ikea store in singapore was probably last year. i think my family knew it was coming--they knew i worshipped ikea, and i was probably gonna insist that we visit the store even though we're only staying for two or three days. and i would totally take my time going gaga over everything, hehehe. and it was fun! i loved how the room settings are so realistic, and i loved the low prices. well, some, at least. i bought the flower nightlamp that i never got to use, boo hoo.

and today i was just browsing the new 2008 catalogue and i suddenly want to go there again!! i went there about two months ago, when i just arrived, but now I WANNA GO AGAIN!! i already have all sorts of these ideas bubbling inside my head (i wanna buy this and i'm gonna get this for that...) WALAOOOEEEE!!! iiihhh but i dunno if i can go leh, cuz i couldn't possibly go alone, but i dunno if my friends want to come...

so now i ask myself, what exactly is the purpose of this entry??

mmmm.

I DUNNO LEHHH.

there you go. the singaporean in me. hahahahahahahha!

back in singapore: miserable meeee.

2007-09-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

i flew back to singapore last sunday, and the night before that was my friend dea's sweet seventeen party. they served this kind of wine at the party--and i only drank ONE GULP. and one gulp was all it took to get me ill (or maybe also because of the seaside wind all night)! my whole face was burning and i got a terrible headache...

and then the next day--which was my departure day--i vomited twice! once in the car on my way to the airport, and once more on the plane (damn turbulence). it was bloody disgusting, eeeekkk! to top it all off, it turned out that my hostel's aircon broke down... so i had to sleep in a ridiculously stuffy room. WALAOEEE!

as if the situations weren't horrible enough, i caught a fever that night--i dunno, all i know was that my head was burning @____@ luckily i got better overnight, cuz i was afraid i had to skip school the next day (HA! more like i was glad to MC hehe)...

wow. you know, getting sick in another country is a sad experience, really. usually, back home, i had my family who'd look after me. i had a maid to help me do things. i had my mom who would make me good, healthy food... and now i have almost no one! but yeah, i guess all of this is what you should expect when you live overseas. besides, i get to learn how to be independent, which is something i'm usually proud of!

well, thankfully i'm all good now. the aircon still sucks, though. and school's already starting, and the homework's going to pile up soon.. huwalao. i should make the most of my free time while i still got some, right? hahahaha...

last days of fun!

2007-09-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

well, after what seemed like ten-or-so glorious days in the great jakarta, i am finally back in this hutan beton singapura. so many things to tell! where to start, eh?

* last friday, my girlfriends and i went to this new cafe called star cherry (norak ya namanya). so the thing with this place is that they lend GAMES to the visitors--board games and other kinds of things you can play with your friends. because we were already tired, all we wanted to do was to EAT. couldn't possibly play the smart, brainy games, cuz our brains were already exhausted!

some of the games that we played are... TUMBLING MONKEYS!! so it's kinda like uno stacko, you have to remove sticks one by one but you cannot let the monkeys drop from the top of the palm tree... and I LOST--quite unfair, actually, because i got the last stick! hahaha but it was bloody fun and i LOVE monkeys!

because of my current love for primates (oh and i was also wearing a very funky monkey t-shirt that matched the games!), i then suggested we play another monkey game: JUMPING MONKEYS!! whahahahahhaha, this time, you get this kind of catapults that you have to use to throw the monkey so that it can hang on this tree. STUPID RIGHT?? bloody fun, though!!

* then, ika-yun-and i got to hung out with the guys... well, namely, iceng and mar. it's been quite a long time since we last hung out together (with yun, it was the first time, actually), and it was so great to be able to laugh with them again!! iceng was just as stupid and always full of gossip (en TETEP MONYONG DONK!), and maybe even more dirty (as in JOROKSELALU) , hahaha. mar, on the other hand, was a bit quiet, but still kurang ajar, heheheheeeee....

and guess what we played? FOOSBALL!! it was the first time i ever played it, and being girls, we were incredibly LOUD AND LOUSY, hahaha XD surprisingly, though, it was quite an exercise, cuz after two games all of us were sweating and exhausted... but in my case maybe it was because i kept screaming every time someone slipped a goal through me! at first, yun and i lost 10-2 to ika+iceng (PATHETIC?), but then after mar joined us we blasted them for 10-4!! waiiii waiiiii!!!

waaahh belom puas main sama kalian semua, niy... sepuluh hari terlalu singkat, ya?

wishing, hoping.

2007-09-17T09:25:00.000-07:00

it's ridiculous how i sometimes still wish for the impossible.

mengapa sampai sekarang aku masih mengharapkannya. walau hanya selintas dan berlalu.

masih, masih, masih.
masih belum sepenuhnya terhapus.

takut, takut, takut, takut.
ketakutanku akhirnya mengecewakan diriku.

bodoh, bodoh, bodoh, bodoh, bodoh.
hanya itu kata yang cocok untukku.

and i keep on wishing, and hoping, and i always end up getting disappointed.
why do i never learn?

why am i sooo pathetic?

gotta get over you...

over the last few days #2 = disturbia

2007-09-17T04:58:00.000-07:00

last saturday, i managed to push my mom to take me to the heavenly shopping destination of jakarta: MANGGA DUAAA!! hahaha aku senang! sialnye, pas gue pergi tuh lagi rame luar biasa (kayaknya musim lebaran deh), yang bikin enci-encinya belagu, dan harganya lagi agak2 tinggi gitu. after a lot of walking and a lot of struggling through the crowd, i bought = (1) white woven belt @ 20k, (2) blue mid-length cardigan @ 100k, (3) 3pcs of tanktops @ 20k, (4) zoo tycoon dvd, (5) jay chou movie!, (6) the complete season 8 of friends. all in the span of four-and-a-half hours. hahahah!

after mangdu, my mom, my sister, and i rushed to my cousin's house 'cuz he invited us to have spaghetti at his place. we had a good meal, and our cousin ever-so-generously offered us a drink--a cocktail or wtv you call it...i think it was sth called "midori" mixed with fanta. it was nice, actually, and it only contained the slightest bit of alcohol, but that managed to get me a bit loopy all night, man. STUPID, righttt? i am evidently very vulnerable to alcoholic drinks. not long after that, my cheeks were burning and my head was slightly dizzy.

eniwei, setelah janjian dan pemaksaan di hari jumat, gue-ika-jeselin dan anak2 bleklist (goin, gavin, omenk, ity, ceki) pun setuju nonton malem minggunya. nggak ada film bener-bener bagus, sih, tapi kangen banget nonton sama mereka! abis biasanya kan tiap ada film bagus gue dan ika selalu menyerbu omenk, hahahaha...

untuk menyesuaikan dengan waktunya, omenk n jeslin memilih film Disturbia, starring shea lebouf. we met yugen in the theatre, lho! the movie itself was, apparently, a thriller. WHY would i ever watch a thriller, i never know. i hate thrillers--especially if the movie was about psychopatic murderers... my gawd, they'd freak me out of my seat!

and that was precisely what disturbia did--freak me out! filmnya tuh campuran antara film seronok dan film sinting--a horrendous combination! i mean, shea lebouf was charming and all, but the movie was not very much. ooh and carrie-ann moss played his mother, that was cool. trus akhirnya sangat-sangat antiklimaks, IMO. bego banget deh pokoknya!!

trus satu-satunya yang menyenangkan dari film itu adalah ekspresi penontonnya. sederetan kita itu ada ceki-gavin-ika-gue-jeslin-omenk, kan, dan kita ribut sendiri sepanjang film. si jeslin menjerit-jerit megang-megang gue, trus si gavin yang ketar-ketir sendiri, dll. lucu juga kalo dipikir-pikir, hahaha. i'm proud to say that i was quite brave during the movie--not SO brave, but yeah gue memaksakan diri menonton sebagian besar filmnya.

abis nonton, gavin yang kelaperan mengajak kita makan di ropit WGP. kita ngobrol dan ketawa-tawa... sebetulnya situasinya agak aneh gitu sih, tapi yaa begitulah kalo kami bertemu blacklist. SUNEEEE! hahahhaha. i missed them so!

on to the next entry #3!

over the last few days #1 = es buah nyaammmm!

2007-09-17T04:33:00.000-07:00

hah, time for a real update, finally~!

okay, so last friday i got to visit SMAK 5 again! it was overwhelming, actually. the school still reeked of green opera and you could find traces of the event everywhere. i came to school one hour before the dismissal bell (thx for nuthin MADA!) so i had quite a lot of time to look around by myself.

then i met up with yuyun upstairs, and almost immediately after that, i heard a SCREAM and i saw monmon running my way!! i squealed in return and next thing i know, ellen was joining us in the same way. it was crazy, hehehe. they dragged me inside their class, and a lot of ppl said hi to me. i know it sounds so vain, but i felt like celeb-for-a-day!

i met a bunch of friends and it was funny, y'know. i was only gone for, like, two months--but we all acted like it had been six. stupid, right? there wasn't much to catch up with, but we were all so excited to see each other. nggak banyak yang berubah, sih, tapi tetep aja semuanya terasa beda.

setelah semua kehebohan berakhir dan yang lain pada pulang, gue, ika, mada, didi, vha, en ndy rame-rame makan es buah kesayangan di lorong depan lap. basket. sbetulnya NGGA ENAK2 BANGET GITU SIH esnya, biasa aja, cuma kan istilahnya melepas rasa rinduuu, huwahahhaha.

actually quite a lot has happened this past weekend, i'm gonna split it into a few entries methinks. that's it for friday, next up=disturbiaaa!

ketinggalan foto!

2007-09-16T08:23:00.000-07:00

foto lagi! ini foto dari POPBOX, blom gue crop ato edit karena agak males, hehehe. I HATE THE WIND EFFECT!! kipas angin nggak jelas yang cuma membuat jidat jadi jenonk, perhatiin deh. DO YOU SEE ANYTHING WINDY IN THE PHOTO?? i bet you don't!!

oh yeah guys, if you want to download any of the pictures, just click on it.

photobox!

2007-09-16T08:04:00.000-07:00

so these are the pics that we took in BLINGBOX and POPBOX (m-stud kelapa gading) today. i was a bit sleepy at first, actually, but then i brightened up immediately when i heard the word PHOTOOOO!! hahhaa, always the narcists we are!

everyone with their best smiles--wajah wajah cantik... kecuali ci martha!

being a movie star means looking snobbish and having a crown.

yang ini lucu.

MARTHA: "eeh pake SEXY dong kita cewek-cewek!" *stamp, maksudnya*

LALA: "kalo gitu cowok-cowok pake COOL dong!!"

GRADI: "dih, COOL LAGI MUKANYA KAYAK GITU!!"

matanya ci karin dan gradi: MIRIP BANGET GAK SEEH??

yay photo!

2007-09-14T04:05:00.000-07:00

the first actual photo in my blog is of sandra and me, taken directly from sandra's blog (i hope she doesn't mind!)

buat temen-temenku di indonesiyah, sandra ini adalah temen sekelasku di nafa, lhoo. this photo was taken, IINM, during photography class (ha!) last monday. we made pinhole camera, and took several pictures--some nice, some just plain crap. the cool thing about going to art school is having all sorts of these activities, i guess.

eniwei, i wanna upload more photos, but it may take some time 'cuz my STOOPID COMPUTER in indonesia won't detect my handphone, thus not allowing me to upload the photos i took here. aargh. oh well. i'll figure out a way.

glenn fredly - HAPPY SUNDAY

2007-09-14T03:15:00.000-07:00

surprise, surprise!

hihihi, jadi hari ini tuh pagi-pagi gue bangun tiba-tiba dengan semangat '45. I WANNA GO SHOPPING!! soalnya kemaren si yuyun bilang, hari ini kamiseta SALE bo! kamiseta is one of my favorite stores--they have tops with very nice cuts and colours. but unfortunately, not today!

dengan semangat pejuang itu gue berangkat ke mol SENDIRI, jam SEBELAS pagi. i couldn't wait to get my hands on the sale stuff, i guess you could say. sampe di sana, udah rame luh, gila gak?? padahal mol baru buka 1 jem!! eniwei, langsung gue obrak-abrik itu tumpukan baju yang nggak terlalu banyak. maybe i spent about 40 minutes there... after much thinking, i decided to leave empty-handed. why? abis bajunya nggak ada yang bener-bener menarik hati, sih. dan gue berniat ke mangdu--mending belanja di mangdu banget kan?? hehehehe.

trus sambil berjalan ke arah pintu keluar, gue mampir ke duta suara. ada poster cd barunya glenn, and i love glenn, so i had to check it out. gue nggak punya duit, sih, but heh whatever.

WAW AKU TIDAK MENYANGKA~ cd baru glenn fredly, HAPPY SUNDAY, dikeluarkan dalam edisi hemat: 25rebu, bo!! cuma 25rb buat cd original~! emang packagingnya cuma karton doang sih ngga pake kotak, tapi tetep lebih baik beli original kan? apalagi kalo MURAH!!

nah kalo ini gue nggak pake pikir panjang deh. now i'm listening to it again. and it's quite good, actually!! album ini dibuka dengan singel "HAPPY SUNDAY", feat Baron, yang bernuansa dance dan sedikit rock yang bisa bikin orang senang! banyak aliran musik yang dicicipi si glenn di sini, bikin album ini lebih berwarna.

tapi fans setia glenn nggak akan dikecewakan, karena masih ada lagu-lagu balladnya yang cantik (try Ksatria Cinta--so romantic!). ada juga lagu yang menggugah kesadaran lingkungan, seperti Sayangi Bumi Hari Ini dan lagu catchy buat penguasa-penguasa, '45.

cuma nih, ngaconya, gue lagi memutar cd ini untuk kedua kalinya, kan, terus kok agak BESET-BESET gitu yaa rekamannya?? iih aneh deh. oh well, yang pasti akan gue rip secepatnya untuk mencegah hal-hal yang tidak diinginkan. i guess, you give some you lose some. you give less money, you lose some quality. OH WELL!

intinya, gue nggak kecewa karena batal belanja di sale kamiseta, gue bahkan cukup senang karena bisa beli cd glenn yang baru!! buat semua teman-temanku yang ngaku doyan glenn tapi nggak punya duit, PLEASE DEH!! hahaha, just spare 25k, guys, and you get a wonderful album in return! try it try it try it!!

changes

2007-09-12T22:33:00.000-07:00

something i just realized: it's amazing how things change in a mere two months.

i don't know how to say this exactly, but in some ways, home has changed. nothing drastic, though-- my parents didn't buy a new house or anything, but, yeah. like how everything is more tidy and in order (my house doesn't look as much as a shipwreck now, yay), how you no longer see my sister in her white-red uniform but now it's white-blue, and somehow the rooms in here feel a lot smaller than it used to be!

my friend/neighbor, yunita, dropped by last night and she told me how things have changed in school... how people have changed. from what she told me, i found out that my best friends have pretty much... well, strayed away from each other. my eight girlfriends and i--we weren't always together, but we were pretty close. but in the past two months, three of us left jakarta--tania, ika, and me. and i certainly didn't think that *that* would really change the rest of us--them.

gue ngerti banget sih, kalo mereka punya kesibukan masing-masing. kita semua punya kegiatan masing-masing, bahkan sebelum gue dkk pergi. tapi walaupun begitu, biasanya kita masih nyempetin paling enggak makan bareng pas istirahat, ato jalan2 nggak jelas di mol tiap weekend. i hope you guys still do that now--i hate not being a part of it, but i would hate it even more if it stopped completely.

it's possible that yuyun is paranoid, but i know how she feels. gue paling sebel kalo merasa jauh sama temen-temen kesayangan gue. kadang-kadang gue sendiri nggak sadar kalo gue yang menjauh, tapi gue sangat peka kalo temen-temen gue yang menjauh. egois, ya? hihihi

tapi mungkin ini cuma sementara sih, karena efek keadaan. kan belakangan ini skul sibuk banget, apalagi karena ada green opera. jadi mungkin perpisahan temen-temenku ini karena begini. i sure hope this "separation" is only temporary, and doesn't last any longer!

on a lighter note, the eight of us are having dinner tonight! yay! it's YURAKUUUUUU baybehhh~ i'm so excited to see all of them again--together. two months isn't that long, but it already feels like a year! yay yay yay!

what should my first post be about yaa?

2007-09-12T22:22:00.000-07:00

hello hello all! finally i have the time to create a new blog, since my livejournal is pretty much dead and shameful =P i am *soo* looking forward to better days with this one.

so right now i am BACK in my sweet and crazy hometown, kelapa gading. now that the dreaded assessment is over, i can totally sit back and relax and do things i've been wanting to do--for example: READ HARRY POTTER #7 hahahaha!

bad news is i still have homework. only two for figure drawing though, so i guess it could have been worse, and thankfully it's not!

now i don't know what else to write. blehhh.

first

2007-09-12T21:57:00.000-07:00

try try!