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i admit in embarrassment that today is another day wasted. i dunno, lately i feel no drive to actually live my life. i know that it's wrong in every way. but i just haven't stumbled upon anything that would pull me back up and get me back in the race. everybody's so busy. i wonder, what keeps them busy? so today i spent my day browsing through people's friendster profiles. my old friends in high school, mostly. usually i'm too "busy" to care about others, or to find out about what's going on in their lives. but now, i realized that my own pride and stupidity has been holding me back. people live and move on with their lives--and the others are moving on with them. the train is speeding but everyone can catch a ride on it, if they care enough to check the schedule. me? i persistently, stubbornly refused to budge and just remained on the sidelines, waiting for someone to let me know when the train arrives. in the end, i was the one left alone in the station. wow that was deep! haha i didn't know i was capable of making such deep and MEANINGFUL metaphors mmhmm mmhmm! but i'm not joking here--that's life. it's going to whoosh right past you, and if you're not ready to hop on, you're going to be left behind. now, i know that in life, relationships hold the first priority. i regret the days that i spent struggling with my projects, days that i could use to catch up with old friends, just letting them know that i still care. and let them know that i'm still around, by the way. i'm not saying that the projects don't matter. but what good will they be when you have no one to celebrate your success with? well, once you fall, learn your lesson and get back up. it's good to know that no matter how deep we fell, we have our Father who will undoubtedly dive down to pull us through! no matter how horrible your wounds are, He's the one who will tend to them and heal them--not just close them up. with Jesus, you can rest assured that mercy wins over justice! and i'm here to stand witness for it. you can say i'm rambling. maybe all of this means nothing to you and you'd rather spend your 5 minutes to read someone else's blog and laugh at their self-centered photos. and maybe you hate me for being sarcastic. i don't know. all i know right now is that i want to really, really treasure the time i have left with my loved ones. i don't want to be left behind anymore. i don't want to see their happy faces behind the glass, unable to share in their joy. i want to get on the train and enjoy the ride with the ones i care about. and i want to tell them that it was Jesus who gave me a ride to catch up with them.
